I hope you're all staying well while the corona virus cancels all schools activities and transportations! My best advice I hav for you guys is to not panic (pls stop buying all the toilet paper) and just wash your hands and cover your cough/sneeze.
Vanya: I wish I had the ability to make boys really nervous
(Y/n): holding a really sharp knife to their neck usually does the trick for me
Five, Klaus, Ben, Diego, Luther: as a boy I can confirm that this makes me really nervous
(Y/n): im like 2% cute and 98% single
Five: Can you be 100% mine?
(Y/n): no
Klaus: hey (Y/n)
(Y/n): what
Klaus: are lesbian mermaids called h2omosexuals
(Y/n):
(Y/n): i'll give a 5 second head start
(Y/n): 5, 4
Klaus: *sprints for his life*
Klaus: What if Five voiced a GPS
Five: "Great job, you missed the exit you fucking disgrace"
(Y/n): fuck
Lana: watch your fucking language
(Y/n): hey you look really cute today
Five: *blushes* r-really? thanks *blushes more*
(Y/n): April Fools!!
Five: ...
(Y/n): you look cute everyday!
Luther: What does bdsm mean?
(Y/n): Being dead sounds magnificent
Five: Who drank my coffee?! I'm gonna fucking ki-
(Y/n): I did
Five: -kiss you and buy you some more
Five, first time at a party: u ever go take a piss at a party and as soon as u close the door u feel like ur in a different dimension
If (Y/n) worked at Target: Attention all customers: our store will be closing in five minutes. If you are present in the store after closing you will be hunted for sport
Melanie: If I punch myself and it hurts, does that make me stronger or weaker?
Tana: It makes you a dumbass
Five: Eat my ass, Handler!
(Y/n): [sobbing] Please don't eat my ass, Lana!
Five: Right here and now
Five: I pledge to make (Y/n)'s dream a reality!
(Y/n): You mean the one where people walking down the street burst into flames
(Y/n): do you have your wallet?
Klaus: *slaps his ass so hard everyone in the target can hear it*
Klaus: yeah
Tana: You're in a fight and can only use one superpower. What would you choose?
Melanie: I'd stop time
Tana: Explain
Melanie: I'd stop time, jerk off everyone I'm fighting, time resumes, they all cum at once and while they're cumming I slit their throats
(Y/n): Couldn't... you just... slit their throats while time was frozen?
Melanie: I had no time
Klaus: what language do they speak at the center of the earth
Klaus: core-ean
Five: THE CENTER OF THE EARTH IS AROUND 5430 degrees Celsius... NOBODY IS GOING TO LIVE THERE SO THEY DONT NEED A LANGUAGE
Klaus: core-ean
Priest: Repeat after me-
(Y/n): After me.
Priest, whispering to Five: Are you sure you wanna marry this one?
Five: *nervous laugh* Goodbyes are so awkward. Like do I go in for a kiss or something?
(Y/n): please just take your fake eye sir
YOU ARE READING
Backstabber (Five Hargreeves x Reader)
Fanfiction[ON HOLD TEMPORARILY] backstabber : a co-worker or friend assumed trustworthy but who figuratively attacks when one's back is turned. traitor : a person who betrays a friend, country, principle, etc betrayal : violation of a person's trust or confid...
