Crazy Beautiful You

Part 6. FORGIVENESS

I pulled away from him, Noah came and hugged me, I tried to move out of his grip but he kept hugging me and whispering while weeping.

"Sorry! Caro, I was not there. I don't know what happened in the past with you, but please tell me now so that I can help now. Please forgive me Caro! I love you a lot, please forgive me."

I was too weeping and then pulled away with all my force and shouted at him "How can you help me now, when I needed you the most you were not there. I was in depression, where were you? I was almost raped, where were you? Where was the brother who was supposed to protect me? Where were my parents who were supposed to get that boy behind bar and not let him walk free ever. You know nothing, I always got in trouble in school. Teachers hated me for being a trouble, students teased me because my parents left me. Boys thought I was a slut and always tried to get in my pants. I had no friends too, because no parent wanted to see their child with me. Someone had spread all this rumors about me. I had nothing accept for granny, but she was old too and I could not have troubled her more. You were not there Noah, so please stop this brother card now. I request you."

I said that and looked away to see both Allen and Oliver standing there in shock.

I ran away from there and felt like someone following me, but I did not stop and kept running. I reached the lake, sat down there and cried more.

The person who followed me sat down beside me and passed me a napkin. I looked up to see Allen sitting beside me and took the napkin.

I wiped my tears and my running nose, I tried to calm down but more tears were falling down. Allen pulled me towards him, he hugged me tight and kept saying things to make me calm.

After about 10 minutes later I was finally calm and pulled away from him. He passed me a bottle and said "Have some water."

I took it from him, drank a sip and closed it. "Thank you Allen and sorry about my earlier break down."

He just shrugged and said "No problem, but you know, if Noah knew any of it, he would have killed that boy. He had always protected Ollie when people bullied him, like you did today. So do you actually think, he would have not protected you. I don't know why he was not there, but I have known him for last four year, he is kind and helping person. He came to our school for the first time four year's back, he and Ollie are best friends. I am a year ahead of them, so he treats me like a brother too just like Ollie. Ollie once told me, he was home schooled before joining this school. I guess you should both get to know each other before you completely blame him."

I nodded and said "Are you close to Noah?"

He shook his head and said "No I am not, we only talk when we are here in camp or when we meet in our parents social gatherings. Other than that he is close to Ollie."

I was confused is he Ollie's boyfriend? Is he gay too? So I said curiously "Is he and Ollie couple? Ollie told me he is gay?"

He laughed and shook his head. He had tears due to laughter, he said "No he is straight, but he is good friends with Ollie and has always protected him when he was bullied."

I nodded and now that I was calm, I realized as to how close I was with Allen. I could smell him and it was kind of tempting.

I have never felt like this about anyone before but he is out of my league. I am damaged beyond repair and he is someone who needs the best things in his life, all the happiness and no trouble maker.

He saw me admiring him "Done checking me out? Come on let's go and join others."

I was red blushing and just nodded as I was unable to say a word.

We went where everyone was waiting, I went and stood beside Ollie and beside him was Noah.

Ollie looked at me and asked "You okay?" I just nodded and Noah kept looking at me, making sure I was okay.

Allen said "Come on everyone back to campsite, I hope you enjoyed today's trekking. We will have a better one tomorrow where everyone is present. I hope no one says anything to others about Caroline and me gone."

They all nodded and started walking, Noah caught my arm and said "Can we talk please."

I nodded and he walked me towards lake, where I was sitting earlier with Allen.

We both sat down and he said "I am so sorry Caro, I was not there when you needed me. I am sorry I could not protect you and failed to be an elder brother."

I can see in his eye that he meant it, I just had one question "But why were you not there Noah, I just want to know why was it you and not me."

He hugged me tight and said "I don't know Caro, I have asked the same question. They said it was for me, that I needed to be treated. I was suffering from cancer, my right kidney needed a transplantation. I got well four years ago and was allowed to attend school and play sports. Before that I was mostly in hospitals or home away from people, so that I don't catch infection. I was also not close to dad, as I only saw mom mostly. When you used to visit here you only saw me for a day or two and then I was out. Mom said they told you I was on a vacation when in real I was in hospital. That's the only reason why for the past three years during vacation I was in Cali with you and granny. I was jealous because granny paid more attention to you and not me, when all this time I was the one suffering and you were there with her. I am sorry, I never knew that you were suffering too. Please forgive me Caro."

I had tears in my eyes, how can I be so selfish. When all this time he was suffering more than me.

I hugged him tight and said "I am sorry Noah, I should have not judged you. I am sorry, I never knew you were suffering more than me. Please forgive me,"

He just hugged me tight and said "I am happy we cleared all our misunderstandings. From today onwards if you have any problem you come straight to me. I am sorry again for whatever happened to you in the past. Do mom dad know anything?"

I shook my head and said "Granny knows I was in depression but not the reason. I asked her to promise me that she will never tell mom dad any of it ever, then only I will tell her the reason. The night granny had heart attack was because of me. I told her everything that had been going on, I was out of depression by then. I found a way to release my anger. I painted and it helped, it was the best cure. When we go back I will show you my work. I am really good at it now."

So what do you think of the book so far?