Necropolis

woke

woke up

went thru the 4 stages of grief (never got to acceptance)

thought of a song

knew i was wrong

but it was too late

i missed the alarm

too many times

always asking for

no alarms & no surprises, please

no worries, no regrets

so nauseous, so naïve

i made my bed but i still grieve

the bedbugs bite

they bit all night, i barely slept

i try in vain

to wash the dirt off of my name

i sit down on the shower floor

rock bottom, rocking back & forth

like a child, because i am one

just overgrown, eyes overflown

when i fall from grace, will you be able to look at my face & see the way i beg to be erased?

i never stop, i'm gouging out my blemishes

dans ma gorge, there is a shout, suspended

(excuse my french)

it can't come out

just as the venom can't be put back in

(it seems i've contracted) lockjaw

i don't want you to worry, don't want you to pity

(sympathy is earned, not given)

there is none for one who digs their own pit, then doesn't want to sit in it

neck deep

yeah, i should've woken up earlier, & not in this bed

but everyone knows that should haves, would haves, could haves do nothing

habits in my rearview mirror are closer than they appear, hindsight is 20/20

2020 changed to 2021, but everything has reverted to the way it was

we forgive because we can't forget

we say we're fine when we know we aren't & we know that everyone else knows

yet we keep the farce going

folly was my first word, fallacy my last

i guess you could say i died in my sleep