I lay here in the golden light, beholden to the cat napping in my lap
She sleeps in peace, I am in pieces & I cannot
My throat is raw, maybe from all the times I screamed your name in my dream, crying & chasing as you ran away, changing
Or maybe from all the words that have died in my throat as a knot
The things I kept inside, feelings I tried to hide, I said too much, but not enough, at the same time
I lay stoically still, irreversibly ill, with an absentminded lifeless gaze, dreading all the days
The world is painted in pain, I let my body be taken by the rain
I am nothing, but it's nothing, no worries
Just carrion, keep calm & carry on
There's not much to do when sorry no longer suffices
