Pretty, Precarious & Prohibited

50 - Jade, Jeans & Joints

~ If We Can Get Through This We Can Get Through Anything - James Arthur ~
❤︎
⚠︎︎ Mention of Suicide

"Do you love him?" Maya asks. I shrug. "I see that smile. You totally do. Prys, tell me right now," Maya pulls on my arm.

"Okay, okay. Yes, I love him. I'm so fucking in love with Heath and I don't even think he knows it."

"Ahhh! Are you going to tell him?" She asks.

I shrug. "Maybe. I don't know. We aren't even together, together technically," I point out. He hasn't actually asked me to be his girlfriend or anything.

I don't even know what to call him. "Yeah but you guys basically are. You should do it," she suggests as we walk down the hall.

"Maybe. Because if he rejects me I will be getting a one way ticket back to that psych ward," I mutter honestly. I don't know if I can handle rejection from Heath. Anyone else, I could. With Heath it's different, he's different.

"Don't say that. You've been doing so good. You aren't taking drugs anymore and it's going to stay that way," Maya assures.

She links her arm with mine. "I know, I won't. But I can't promise you if something bad happens, I won't feel the need to. Just if something bad happens, lock me in a room," I jest.

"Shush. Nothing bad is going to happen. You're being dramatic," she says. But am I? Every time something goes good, like I've reached a peak. It drops. I fall. Everything goes to shit.

I feel like I'm at a high right now. And telling Heath will mess things up. I don't want to mess anything up. I'm going to hold back on telling him. We walk into the cafeteria and head straight to the table. Maya and I let go of each other sitting on opposite ends of the table.

"Greetings earthlings," I smile. They greet me back and continue talking about prom. Which means I'm graduating soon.

A hand is placed on my waist and a disposable coffee cup is placed in front of me. I notice two tea bags sticking out. "What is it?" I ask looking up at Heath.

"Try it," he smiles.

"If it's green tea I'm dumping this cup over your head," I mumble putting the cup to my lips. I don't drink any and look up at Heath waiting.

I take a sip. And it's surprisingly really good. "What is it?" I ask. I take another sip.

"Raspberry mint. Had it the other day and thought you'd like it," he says. I smile.

"You combined both peppermint and raspberry tea?" I ask. He nods slowly. "It's hella good." He picks up his own cup with two tea bags also sticking out. I'd assume it's the same contents. "You get it from Triple C?"

"Yeah. Luke had it specially made," he mutters.

"Did they announce valedictorian yet?" Levi asks. Heath and I turn back to the conversation.

"Don't think so. Who do you think it'll be?" Heath asks.

"Probably Prystyne. They always pick the people with the highest grades," Maya mumbles.

"Yeah but she doesn't have any extracurriculars. They like that too," Tag adds.

I place my arms down on the table. "Either way I won't be valedictorian. Even if they choose me, I'm turning it down," I admit.

"Why?" Ajax asks.

"I don't want to do that shit. Stand up in front of hundreds of people and parents and tell them how great this school is and other bullshit. I rather shove orange peels down my throat," I mutter.