Kaylor Jokes Book II

3: Interview - Rumors

Interviewer: What are the ridiculous and the weirdest things or rumors that you heard about yourself?

Martha: I heard that I am GAY and fucking Camilla Cabello. Ridiculous. Right? Right? But, I am BIG FANS of HER. I listen to all her songs.

Camilla: They said that I am STRAIGHT and fucking my best friend Shawn Mendes. Where is this come from? Puff.

Cara: They said I am a green lizard alien who has lizard's DNA. I can conquer the world. Cool bruh.

Todrick: They said I am Taylor Swift's boyfriend. What? I AM TAYLOR'S GAY BOYFRIEND! We paint nails to each other. Playing princess and duchess. Frozen. Barbie. Dollhouse. Basically, I AM HER LOST GAY BROTHER.

Gigi: They said I and ZAYN are married in a secret wedding in London. Which are WE AREN'T. We are NOT MARRIED GUYS. But we are making babies together. Lovely right? Mixed Babies. Kai is my life. My everything. I just want BABIES. I want to be a mother. I just want sperm. I don't need MAN. I am particular in find good genes for my babies. ZAYN meets my spec.

Selena: They said I am NOT OVER JUSTIN. MOVE ON GUYS, Life is too short for one DICK. Plus, JUSTIN'S DICK IS SIZE DOUBLE ZERO. He never makes me cum. Bluh.

Dianna: They said I cheated on Taylor Swift with some other guys. But the truth is, I cheated on Taylor Swift with my female co-star. Not once but twice. Well. I am NOT PROUD GUYS.

Taylor: They said I am a weirdo psychopath woman who loves hunting boys and buying another house nearby the next potential boyfriend just to stalk him 24/7 like I don't have anything to do in life. I rather stalk Karlie rather than BOYS. I am NOT an OBSESSIVE PERSON, don't get me wrong. But sometimes. I only obsessed with Karlie.

Karlie: They said I fucking my best best friend, Taylor Swift. Which is NOT NOT TRUE.

Joe Alwyn: They said I am GAY that I fuck my male co-star who is handsome and masculine. Nicholas Hoult. Ridiculous. They said I am at the bottom. Do you see me like that? At least, said that I am the dominant man. I like to be at the top, not the bottom. I like to please people.

Joshua Kushner: They said I am GAY and fucking my own best friend Mikey Hess? Hey, I make KARLIE KLOSS PREGNANT MOTHER FUCKER. I can make a woman pregnant. At last. I am the bad man. I am stronger. It a boy. I give Karlie my Y gene. Not X gene. It's XY. It's a boy. My sperm is dominant. I am APLHA MAN. We don't need the DNA test. That boy was mine. Levi is mine.

Jack Antanoff: They said Taylor Swift wrote You Are In Love is about my relationship with Lena Dunham. Please, can someone save me from all these ridiculous jokes? Who the fuck started these rumors. Since when I wake up in the middle of the night, said to Lena " you are my best friend". I am fucking heavy sleeper. If they have a bomb at night, I wouldn't know it. So, please.

Ed Sheeren: They said I know Taylor was GAY but afraid to say 4 words at the 4th of July Party. "Taylor Swift is LESBIAN". I was planning on proposing to my girlfriend. "WILL YOU MARRY ME?". Fuck ya. I am not a coward to say Taylor is fucking GAY. Because who knows her better than I AM. I know her secret. But I cannot name names.

Jennifer Lawrence: They said I am Kaylor Shipper. Duh, I just want to know if they fuck each other or not. That's all.

Brie Larson: They said I have a crush on Taylor. Man, I play all her songs with my guitar and she never notices me not even ONCE. Come on Taylor. Give me some respect.

Tree Paine: They said I am the monster banned Taylor and Karlie from seeing each other. They said I was the mastermind who separate these girls from dating in public. Are you out of your mind? I could lose my jobs. If Taylor Swift's reputation falls down. Do you want to pay my paycheck? What would you do if you were me? Being a monster I guess. See?

Austin swift: They said Levi Joseph LJ was my baby. Levi born the same day as my birthday, March 11. Hey, What a beautiful coincidence huh? William Bowery WB in the making. Just saying. All credit and royalties go to WB. Just saying. William Bowery win a Grammy at an early young age. His parents will be proud of him. Out Little JOE.

Interviewer: So, what y'all saying all the rumors are TRUE?

Taylor: I guess All the rumors Are TERRIBLE AND CRUEL. BUT MOSTLY HONEY, ALL OF THEM ARE TRUE. I guess.

I saved all the silliest jokes for you
F.GIMAN
May 25,2021