Kaylor Jokes Book II

91: New Beard

Midnights Era.

*THIS ANOTHER REALM WHERE TAYLOR AND KARLIE ARE MARRIED COUPLE AND HAVE TWO KIDS TOGETHER BUT STILL REMAINS CLOSET.*

Tree Paine: Tay, Joe's contract will end soon. Do you want to recontract him?

Joe: Tay, I want to be free. I can't take anymore. 6 years of hell. I can't fight all your fans. I need to be free. Please, this is for my mental health.

Karlie: Weak bread!. *smirk*

Joe start to cry.

Joe: You don't know what they talks about me? how cruel they can be? how mean they can become? outside they looked supportive but behind the sosial media they can be like wolf.

Karlie: They just call you oatmeal! Nothing compare to me? I get the worst.

Joe: Please, Miss Swift. I can't do this anymore. You can have back my grammy. I don't need it.

Karlie: You don't even have a heavy PR stunt. You just have to do bare minimum. Just being there. Don't talk about Taylor. Don't smile. Just being there when Taylor need you. Hold her hands. That's it. Easy.

Joe: You said it was easy? If you can, do it. I DARE YOU KARLIE. GO AND WALK HAND BY HAND WITH TAYLOR. I dare you.

Karlie silence.

Joe: You can't right. Coward!

Karlie: Don't you dare me!, Joe.

Joe: I DARE YOU! In front of everyone. In front of you fans.

Karlie:  Did you forgot? I already walk with her during Victoria Secret Fashion Show.

Joe: That was years ago. I mean right now.

Karlie: I want too but Tree Paine banned me from near Taylor. What can I do?

Taylor eating M&M while watching these two talking.

Tree Paine: I really need both of you to calm down now. Tay, what do you say? Stop eating junk food!

Taylor: I hand to you to solve my problems. I paid you, Tree. Don't ask me. You're Pro PR. *Taylor talks while her mouth full of m&m*

Tree Paine: So, if we discontinue Joe's contract. Who gonna replace him as your boyfriend?

Karlie: Can Taylor coming out now? Can we go public together to set the narrative?

Tree Paine: What narrative?

Taylor: Yeay, Tree. I want too.

Tree Paine: Want what??

Taylor: Coming out obviously. I want the world know we are the happiest married couple and have two beautiful twins.

Tree Paine: Hell No!! Are you guys INSANE. Never. Not at times like this. You are top of the world. Top in the game now. You and Karlie are big deal now.

Taylor: So, what is the plans? I'm being a single.For how long?  I wrote a lot of breakup songs on Midnights album. Not really heartbreak songs more to horny love songs. Song how I want to fuck Karlie.

Taylor: Tree, did you not hear my new song 'Lavendar Haze'? It's about I want to fucking Karlie during Maroon. I am fucking my best friend. I don't ever care about people that talks about my sexuality.

Karlie: Babe, is it about us? How sweet?

Taylor: Yeah, babe. It's literally about our relationship. Sweet and bad memories.

Karlie: Can I hear it?

Taylor: Nope. Not yet.

Tree Paine: Ehem. Ehem. Can we back to topic? Do you want to be single in thos era?

Taylor: Not too long. I want just 3 months. We set breakup on April. I will start The Eras Tour. Good for promotion. Good for buzz.  And then after 3 months, you will find me another potential professional beard. He must be absolutely gay. Anyone as long as he is gay as fuck.

Tree Paine: Anyone? How about the athlete. I thinking if you can date an athlete. NFL'S players. It's business contract. We promote NFL shows. We get the free money from our advertising. Win-win.

Taylor: Is he gay? If they gay. I am happy to date them.

Karlie: I love NFL. I love football. Fantasy Football is my things.

Taylor: Babe, we can get free VVIP ticket if you want.

Tree Paine: Nope Taylor. I can't let Karlie attend the games with you. Never.

Taylor: Why?? Why not?

Tree Piane: We are creating PR stunt. Not damaging your PR. You and Karlie can never be together at any events.

Karlie: You are monster, Tree.

Taylor: Yeay, the actual Monster just turned up to be just Tree.

Tree Paine: This Monster that are saving your career and money.

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Taylor: How about Matty Healy? You said you want me to his beard?

Tree Paine: Yesterday, his PR team reach to me, and they want to paid you as his beard. To promote his current works. They are going for tour. They want some buzz from his dating life. They set you to perform on his tour to set up the date rumors. What say you?

Taylor: Matty is my longtime friends. I been working a rerecord reputation album with him recently. I have no objections to help his PR. But, what we got from this PR instead of money?

Tree Paine: They promise a good money and Grammy nominations for Midnights Album. But, keep in mind, that associates with him will damage your PR because he is racist, drunk, addiction to drugs, socially rude and selfish. But he is gay.

Taylor: Are you sure? That's quite a big promise. They offer a Grammy Nominations? How?

Tree Paine: Yes, what I heard. Leave it to them. You just have to sign a NDA contract.

Taylor: For how long?

Tree Paine: Not too long..Not too short...5 weeks..

Taylor: Deal.  alright then.

Karlie: Babe, how about the  NFL contract? For how long? I don't want her to be committed to some random dude.

Tree Paine: Don't worry Karlie. The contract doesn't involve any sexual intercourse or marriage contract. Nothing like yours.

Taylor: Babe, don't worry. I do this like  Pro now. I  can take care of myself. I love you.

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Matty: Hello, Tay! I heard you agreed to be my girlfriend. Thanks for help me out.

Taylor: Don't mention. You promise me Grammy. What can I do?

Matty: You and Grammy. I knew it you won't turned me down. That's my PR teams offer.

Taylor: I can't help it to agree on that.

Matty: Can I kiss you now? or can we get laid or something?

Taylor: Matty I know you horny and so gay. I have my protocol. I never have sex with my beards. But we can kiss. I allowed that. That was my boundary.

Matty: I have fantasy that I wanna fucked you both.

Taylor: Who?

Matty: You and Joe Alwyn.

Taylor: How fun? Unfortunately, Joe is no longer work for me.

Taylor: For one sec, I thought you want to fuck me and Karlie. That would be so much fun.

Matty: Great!! Let's do it.

Karlie: What the F*uck??? Babe??