The Rebound

Joseph

That was weirdly pleasant with Nicole I mean it's normally shit with her like you know arguments but that was the first time I felt like she was more then my enemy like in a good way though. I wanna go as far and say my 'friend' but again watch it I'll be a dick to her by tomorrow. I'm the same dickhead everyday every minute. Why did I have to be his son? Fuck me who knows who'd I'd be like now. Maybe my mom would be married to a different man happy. Maybe I'd have a loving father,a family,a home. All the things I've lost and never had. Maybe I'd have those. My mom could've still been if it weren't for my fucking dumbass actions. Galina and Joelle.... They could've been here too. My baby girl. I miss them so bad it's fucking me up everyday. I need help but I'm too afraid. I'm gonna break at this point. But the clocks ticking and who knows how long I have until that happens.

"Joseph baby I've been looking for you"I heard Summer's voice breaking my conscience.

"Hey"I said walking up to her

"Hey that's all I get baby?"

"Look I just fought with Colby physically ok I don't have time for this fucking baby shit alright"I said walking past her she grabbed my arm

"Baby come on don't take your anger out on me"Summer said kissing me. It felt so wrong and weird again.

"Summer stop please"I said pulling away

"What's wrong?"

"It's not right. We aren't right look I'm sorry but we shouldn't have gone back to this I need space for a while"

"Your a fucking waste of life Joseph"She said pushing me in my chest then she slapped me clean across my face. It didn't hurt but I agreed with her I am a waste of life

"You think I disagree with you?"I said wiping my now bleeding lip

"Fuck you Joseph go kill yourself why don't you"She said walking off

That's two people along with my family. Now maybe there are right

"DONT YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"I heard someone shout

"FUCK OFF HE DESERVES IT!"Summer barked back at the person

"TELLING JOSEPH TO KILL HIMSELF IS FUCKING DISGUSTING SUMMER HOW DARE YOU!"I recognised the voice. Mina.

"FUCKING LEAVE IT MINA YOU ARE ALL RIGHT HAPPY"I yelled

"JOSEPH STOP!"She shouted at me after she slapped Summer

"I AM DONE MINA IM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SAME SHIT. THIS FUCKING DEPRESSION WHAT EVER THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME. IM SO DONE TRYING TO CHANGE SO DONE TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE. SO SICK OF TRYING TO REKINDLE THE FAMILY. SICK OF NEVER HAVING HAPPINESS AT LEAST IF I WERE TO DIE I'D BE WITH MY MOM GALINA MY FUCKING CHILD. MY DAUGHTER"

"JOSEPH STOP YOUR NOT THINKING STRAIGHT I CARE ABOUT YOU!"She said walking over to me

"YOU DO NOT WHO DOES MINA? I MEAN WHAT IS HERE FOR ME? ANOTHER PAINFUL LONLEY ASS DAY,MONTH,YEAR IM DONE LIVING THAT LIFE"

"THEN YOU WOULD BE A COWARD IN YOUR MOTHERS EYES AND YOU KNOW IT!"

"DO NOT FUCKING USE HER AGAINST ME! IF YOU HAD ANY IDEA WHAT IT WAS LIKE FUCKING PAIN. SAT ALONE LISTENING TO HER FINAL BREATHES. I WATCHED HER MINA I FUCKING WATCHED HER. I COULD DO NOTHING BUT WATCH HER DIE. I DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH TO SAVE HER. JUST LIKE I COULD NOT SAVE GALINA AND FUCKING JOELLE WHAT IS THERE WHAT IS THERE?!OTHER THAN PAIN FOR ME WHAT IS THERE?!"I snapped

"Us Joseph"I turned and Nicole and Brie were standing behind me with Jon and Paige

"You have all of us Uce fuck all of them"Jon said pulling me into a hug

"I can't do it no more Jon"I said breaking down.

I felt her arms wrap around me I leaned my head onto her's she always soothes me. What the fuck is going on?

"We have all got you asshole"She joked I smiled and pulled her into a separate hug.

"Thanks bitch"I said with a weak chuckle

"Anytime"She giggled

I wiped my eyes and she rubbed my arm

"We all care about you Joseph don't hid from us if you need help just tell us. No point hiding otherwise that's just gonna hurt more"Brianna said along with Paige

"Thanks guys so much you-"I felt tears and my voice become weaker as I felt a wave of emotions control my weak body.

"Anytime superman"Paige said

"It's okay Joseph"Nicole said rubbing her hand up and down my back soothing me in a matter of seconds.

I really need someone. I really need these guys so much. Time to change Joseph and this is for real