The Rebound

Nicole

I sat next to him. We were silent and not even looking at each other. Joseph was getting frustrated at himself because he couldn't remember me.

I looked up at him once to find him staring at me. He then looked away with tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry for staring I'm just so lost right now"Joseph said in a broken voice.

"It's okay"I said in the same tone.

This is going to be so hard.

I sat on the chair going through our photos my only happiness. The scan of our baby. He was sat with his face in his hands,Crying. I got up and sat on the bed next to Joseph and I ran my hand up his arm. He looked at me and wiped his eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to cry"He said wiping his eyes. I gave him a gentle smile

"It's okay to cry you know?I don't care if you cry I care about you Joseph"I said to him. He looked and me and nodded his head.

"Why don't you rest? I'll come back later"

"No"he said firmly

"But Joseph it might be-"

"No-I don't want you to go. Look I just I need you here I need to fucking remember"He snapped at himself.

"Joseph please calm down"I begged him.

"Calm down that's not even a option. I NEED TO REMEMBER!"He snapped. His eyes then filled again,he turned from me. I went to touch his arm.

"You can go if you want-I'm being an asshole"He whispered.

"What do you want me to do stay or go?"I asked him

"It's not my choice I don't control you"He said weakly.

"Do you want me to get Jon?"

"No"

"Okay. Are you hungry?"I asked him

He just shook his head. I hated seeing Joseph like this.

"Okay"

"Why don't you get food?you know for you and the baby"He said really softly as his voice croaked as he said baby.

"I'm okay"I said I had eaten before.

"Have you at least eaten?"He asked me

"Yeah I went out to grab a KFC on the way here"

"Why would you waste your time on me?"He asked

"What do you mean?"

"Nicole I can't remember you-yet your still here I-nobody has ever stuck by me. Why are you? You can leave me raise our child with a better man"He said as he turned to me his eyes puffy and red. His cheeks wet with tears.

"There is no better man out there then you. Joseph I need you. Look I know you don't remember me but leaving you is never an option. You are the most loving beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on. You changed so much for me. I couldn't just leave you. It's our baby and I only want to raise our baby with you. I only want to be with you,Mateo and our baby"

"What if I never remember then what?"He asked

"Then we make new memories. Joseph your trying to push me away. It's not going to work"I said to him

"But it's better-isn't it?I mean you could be happier and not have to go through the pain of your boyfriend not even remember anything.Not even a memory a moment"

"Joseph please stop-why can't you see I only want you?"

He remained silent and I walked out the room. I heard him whimper as I did.

"Nic-"

I shut the door I'm not arguing with him. Jon was walking up the room.

"Whoa are you okay?"He asked me

"Yeah I'm going to go home"I lied to him. I just wanted to get away from here

I walked past him and I heard him call my name but I ignored him. I wanted to be left alone. I climbed into my car. I drove to the place Joseph took me when we first started dating. The gentle sound of the rushing water.

Flashback

"It's beautiful isn't it?" He said wrapping his arm around my hip.

"Whoa how did you find this?"

"Me and Jon found it one night and ever since I come back when we are in town so I thought to bring you with it considering you share the same thing in common Your both breath taking and beautiful"He smiled

"Joseph"I said smiling before kissing him

"Your so special to me and I don't ever want to lose you. Please. Please don't ever walk from me"

"Are you crazy? I'd lose myself if I lost my man"I said cupping his cheeks

He smiled handsomely.

"Thank you Bub you don't know how happy that makes me feel"

"I can sense it"I said grabbing hold of his hand. We sat on a rock just watching the powerful currents and I lent into Joe's chest holding his hand tightly. I was living with him. I wasn't suffering this was all I have ever wanted. A man who'd just care for me take me to places like these. Not sexual. I never knew that man was going to be my enemy to then my some what Lover I mean we are an us.

End of flashback

I was pulling into my house and my mom was there with Mateo.

I walked in and Mateo walked over to me. Making me think about Joseph and the day he got Mateo walking. I'll cherish that day till I die.

"Momma where daddy you said he home today?"He said with a sad look. Making me instantly tear up. I knew I had to lie to him.

"Daddy has gone away for awhile he will be back soon. I promise"

"No daddy promise he won't leave me"He burst out crying. My heart fell to my stomach and I picked him up and rocked him to sleep my mom was looking at me. She knew. She knew I was going to explode if someone mentioned his name. Or brought up anything to do with him. She took Mateo off me and pointed at the couch as she walked up the stairs.

I sat on the couch pain consuming my heart. I didn't want to think about about him. I didn't want to. But I couldn't stop myself tears streamed down my face and my mom sat next to me and held me tightly. I lent into her chest crying.

"I'm here sweetie I'm here"she said with a broken voice.

"Mom he didn't-he doesn't"I cried

"Shhh it's okay sweetie"

"He-doesn't remember me"I screamed into my mom chest. I had never experienced this type of pain. My mom started crying too.

Is this the new normal?Will I ever have my Joseph back?I missed him.