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I found myself lying wide awake again that night. Staring into the darkness that surrounded me, wondering if the evening had been real, if any of the last two weeks had been real.
I'd just gone on a date with James Barnes from the Avengers.
This was absolutely insane.
And I'd actually enjoyed myself.
The evening had felt like a blur, we'd got on surprisingly well and other than the awkward tension at the beginning, conversation had flowed easily and I felt relatively at ease with him.
Was that a mistake?
I briefly got annoyed with myself thinking how silly I'd been to quit my job, move to an unfamiliar place and go on a date all in the space of a couple of weeks.
It had been a long time since I'd last been on a date with someone, and I wasn't planning on it happening any time soon, until he came along.
Something about his presence made my stomach churn and my thoughts whirl around my head. He was quite like no-one I'd ever met before, and that intrigued me. I had moved here for a fresh start, a change, a new adventure.
I let a little smile tease my lips before rubbing my eyes and sighing.
I had texted Ally to say I was home and had a good time, but I had yet to tell her who with. Besides, there was no point was there? He had seemed hopeful of another date, but that's what all guys said until the time actually came.
Why was I letting a man dominate my thoughts so much?
Get it together Laurel. You were an agent, independent, strong-willed, confident and with one date you've let your wall down slightly, the bricks beginning to chip a little at the top.
I listened to some pigeons just outside my window, concentrating on the sound to pull me out of my spinning mind.
I had bigger things to think about anyway, like starting an actual life here.
That included a job. I was okay for money now, but I knew I'd need one eventually. Besides, it wasn't like me for my brain to be sitting idly by.
But what would I do?
I loved working in intelligence, analysing information, helping people, working towards a greater good, but there was nothing that fit that and complimented my belief system.
I'd have to find a temporary job in an office or something in the mean time. I needed to be normal for a little while.
It was strange without the agency back home. It was like part of my identity that I'd worked so hard for was gone. It was exciting and terrifying at the same time.
For the first time in a long time, I was figuring out who I was again.
I pulled up my phone, deciding sleep was far from coming to me and saw a message from James. Or should I say Bucky. The name felt alien in my mind as if I'd been privy to a secret that I shouldn't have had access to.
