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My heart beat fast as my trainers hit the ground across Central Park, leaving me out of breath and sweaty in the sticky summer air.
Running was a good way to clear my thoughts, something I really needed to do at the moment.
I looked around at all the families enjoying picnics, couples sitting on benches wrapped around each other and old ladies feeding pigeons. That pang of loneliness which was so achingly familiar hit me like a train again. I kept pushing on, forcing myself to jog faster and drown out those feelings.
Two days ago I'd kissed Bucky. And I hadn't stopped thinking about that innocent kiss since.
In my mind, it wasn't so innocent. I knew I'd been drinking, I was reminded of that the morning after when I woke up with a banging headache from all the gin, but the actions of the sober me were underneath, desperately wanting more than that closed mouth peck.
I felt myself redden, as I clicked my music up a notch. I could remember the piercing of his eyes as he lent down towards me, studying my face before he locked lips with mine. It had been so simple, so sweet, yet so much more seemed to fill the air between us.
I cringed as I thought back to that night, hoping I hadn't embarrassed myself too much, worrying about the fact I'd given a relative stranger my address too.
Except he didn't feel like a stranger anymore.
I pounded my heels even harder as my running went up in pace, punishing myself and my body for allowing myself to be so vulnerable. For liking someone for the first time in a long time. For fucking up the life I had and coming over here and throwing myself into a snake pit; the dangers of the heart being far more scary to me than foreign threats and terrorists.
I wondered if Bucky was thinking into this as much as me. I guessed he probably wasn't.
Despite what he'd told me about his inability to form relationships with people, I knew he must've kissed hundreds of girls like me, better than me.
Bucky had texted me the morning after our date to say how much he enjoyed it. We'd had a bit of back and forth for a while, neither one of us wanting to seem too eager for another one.
Three dates felt like something more than a casual meet-up. Three dates to me almost felt like dating.
I felt my nose scrunch up at the thought. I wasn't the dating type, and yet here I was, desperate for him to tell me he wanted to see me again, like a school girl crush.
I'd kept Ally off my back too, giving her vague details about the date without actually mentioning who it was. She could tell I was being coy with her, but she knew me better than to ask any more questions. She'd had to get used to having a best friend who couldn't share 100% of her life with her.
Besides, I needed to get Bucky out of my brain. He wasn't the only thing here for me in my new life, I needed to expand my options and set down roots.
I had an interview with a business lined up later this afternoon and needed to prepare. It was a company who specialised in recruitment and I despised the thought of the types of people I'd potentially be working with in such a firm.
