SHREDDED WINGS

39

She shoot herself.

I know that she's out of her mind but I never expect again that she can harm herself.

I'm here in hospital. Outside the emergency room to be exact. I can't stop myself from crying because even if she do a lot of bad things. It doesn't change the fact that I am her daughter.. That she is my mother.

It's now half an hour when she go to the emergency room. I don't know what's happening now. I don't know if she can survive because she shoot herself near in the heart!

Suddenly the door open and I ran to the Doctor. He faced me with a worried expression.

I have now a bad feeling that something bad happened to my mom.

"Doc,how is she? Is she okay now?"

The doctor didn't change his expression. "We do our best ma'am but the patient didn't make it."

The doctor left after saying those words.

My knees are shaking and trembling. I just found myself sitting on the floor and crying so hard.

Even if I didn't raised by her. I do love her. Even if she's the most devil or cruel person in this world. I do love her because she is my mom. She's the reason why I'm here.

"What the hell,Eryx!? Why are you sitting on the floor!?" I heard Noah screamed.

I saw him running towards me. "What the.. get up!"

I can't. "She didn't make it..She left Noah.. she's gone."

He hugged me and I'm crying on his shoulder. Unexpectedly a group of media are coming through our direction.

Noah immediately grabbed me and we enter the emergency room where mom are laying. He locked the door.

I walked to my mom's bed and I saw her angelic face. She definitely look like me. She looks like an angel.

I hugged her.

"I love you mom. I know,I am not a kind of daughter whose sweet, whose showy. But mom,I do love you. Even if you're not here when I needed you the most. Even if you're not here when I'm missing you. You're my mother of course,I do love you. Even if you're the most cruel person in this freaking world. I wouldn't mind as long as you were with me."

I cried hard. I cried all the pain. This is what I can do right now. Cry.

Suddenly all of the memories she left are coming back into my mind.

"You saw that baby?"

"Yes,mommy. It's cute!" said by little Eryx holding a hair band.

Lianne pinch its cheek and  they continue from walking. Suddenly Lianne's phone rang and she need to answer it.

"Eryx,can you stay here and I'll just answer this phone call?"

The young Eryx nodded,. "Yes mommy! You can answer that phone and I'll just stay here!"

Lianne smiled and turned it's back to her daughter. She answered the phone call.

A young Eryx saw a vendor of balloons and she wants one. The balloon vendor started to walked away and the young Eryx followed it.

After talking to a phone. Lianne notice that the young Eryx are now gone. She started to panick and she told to the security that she lost her daughter.

A young Eryx lost the balloon vendor and she started to cry her mom's name.

"Mommy!!!" "Mommy!" but no one came.

On the other side. Lianne didn't know what to do anymore. She ran and she's so desperate to find her daughter.

She saw young Eryx crying and she ran towards it. She hugged her daughter and she shed tears.

"I won't leave you again, I promise. Mommy loves you."

I was busy looking back by that precious moments when Noah approach me and handed me a handkerchief.

I accept it. And I felt the cold breeze hugging me.

There's no aircon either electric fan here. Where the hell. The cold breeze from?

Is it you mom? Are you trying to comfort me? Mom...

You say you wouldn't leave me. Then why all of a sudden you're now there in second life!?

Suddenly a two nurse come and get my mom's body.

"What the hell are you two doing!?"

"Well just take the body to the morgue ma'am,"

"No! No! She's not dead! Cant you both see!? She's just asleep!" I exclaimed.

Noah hugged me and give a signal to the two to continue what they are supposed to do.

I'm trying to lost from it's grip but he's too strong.

"No! No! No! Noah please..mom is just asleep!"

He hugged me and kissed my forehead.

"Your mother wouldn't like it if she saw you in this state, Eryx."

The two nurse left and I cry more.

I can accept it if she died naturally but she shoot herself. She's so selfish not to consider our feelings. She's so selfish. She's didn't make it.

The door open and I saw Grandma Si and Grandma Hilda.

"We heard the news," Grandma Hilda said.

"Where the hell is Lianne?" Grandma Si asked.

I didn't answered. She's waiting for my answer but I have no strength to speak.

Noah cleared his throat. "She's gone. She died."

Grandma Si started to shed tears. "You gotta be kidding me."

"She's in morgue. You can check it ma'am."

They immediately ran out of the room. I face Noah.

"I wanted to see mom," I whisper.

He nodded and he guide me going to the hospital morgue.

When we went outside the room a lots of media personnel are starting to rain thousands of questions.

"What can you say about the allegations about your mom. Miss Eryx Cornella?

"Is it true that your mom used you as a bait?"

"How are you feeling that your mom used you as a bait?"

"Did Lianne Cornella survive from shooting her own self?"

Noah guide me out of the place and suddenly. A lot of security are started to block their way.

I have no strength to answer all of their questions. I feel like my half body are dying. Probably it's now talk of the country or maybe even talk outside the country.

We entered the Morgue station of the hospital and I saw Grandma Si crying so loud.

I feel like my soul are shattered into pieces while seeing my Grandma on that state.

A nurse in charge approached me, "You can now call a Funeral who would handled your mom's burial ma'am,"

I nod. My mind starting to dissolve all of this. I started to accept the fact that mom are now gone.

May you rest in peace mom. May you find peace and joy. I love you.

You can rest now.