The Broken Raven - A Paradox Of Two Worlds Series Book 1

Chapter 34 -Raven

There is silence on the way home; it's just me and my thoughts. I should have brought a jacket because the cool air makes my skin shiver. The clouds in the night sky are moving slowly as the wind blows. The trip home is illuminated by the beautiful full moon. I can hear a deep rumbling behind me, and I'm afraid to look back. As Clay pulls up next to me, I exhale deeply.

"Get in!" His eyes are staring straight ahead. If I don't go with him, I feel we will end up yelling at each other here in the middle of the street. "Get in; it's cold." He says, this time looking at me.

But I continue walking. As I keep moving forward, I feel the warmth of his leather jacket as it covers my shoulders. "Please get in," he says softly.

⁂

On the drive to my house, we don't talk to each other. He pulls up in front and startles me with his words. "I'm sorry," He says quietly. I look over at him, and he looks sad, an emotion I've never seen in him. It takes everything in me not to grab him and kiss him.

I miss his kisses.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask, and he nods. We get upstairs and head to my room; he sits on the bed. I lock my bedroom door, and I sit down next to him. I don't want to pressure him, but I need to know.

"When did you start, you know?" I ask quietly; he doesn't move but stiffens up. He looks tense. I can see his muscles contracting underneath his tight shirt. I know I shouldn't be thinking about these things, but I can't help it.

"If you want to see me naked, just ask." He says and starts to laugh; my thoughts are cut off, and I realise he sees me staring at him. I blush and turn my head.

"Can you just answer my question?" I tell him.

"It started the night you... " He trails off.

"The night I hurt you?" With concern, I question him. Was it entirely my fault? Has he done this as a result of me? I begin to worry. I had no intention of harming him. He nods, and I can't help but feel awful about everything.

I look at him so that he can continue. "Logan told me everything."

I jump off my bed. "What!" I yell at him, "Please tell me you didn't tell anyone." I plead with him.

"No, I would never do that." He looks at me and says, "I promised Logan I would wait for you to tell me when you were ready. Then I found out you're dating that Zack guy, which pissed me off. I started to spiral and couldn't stop; to hide all the pain inside. I couldn't watch you being with someone else." He takes a deep breath. His eyes are intense.

"Zack isn't my boyfriend. He's just a friend," I tell him, calmly walking toward him.

"He's not?" He asks.

"God no," I laugh. "I told you before that I only wanted you, but I needed time." Then my mind goes back to earlier tonight, Sloane all over him. I step back from him. "You're with Sloane again, aren't you?" I try to hold my anger in.

"No," he exclaims, "she was..."

"She was what, just there?" I ask, starting to feel frustrated. I knew he was mad at me, but I didn't think he would go back to having sex with her.

"Please, baby, forgive me. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did it." I walk back and forth while taking a breath as I feel the energy rising. I feel the wind picking up around me as the lights begin to flicker. I see Clay's expression, which I've never seen before; for a little moment, he appears to be the one who is afraid.

Breathe Raven Breathe

I take a deep breath, and like that, it all stops. I step back from him, looking at the man I thought I knew—the one who left that letter—and instead of loving him, I feel sick.

"Tell me, how many of your friends did you tell, about your little rendezvous with her, because, from what I was told, you weren't going around her. Did you lie to them all, or am I just a fool in believing you would give me some space? I thought we were meant to be, you! You said no one would ever take my place. I told you I needed some time, and you went back to her!" I shout at him.

I pace back and forth, running my hands through my hair. "Let's see, my heart breaks, and I sit in bed and cry, your heart breaks, and you screw the town whore!" I feel the energy in me build up.

"Wow, even when you're angry, your ruthlessness never seems to surprise me."

"I wouldn't be so mad if you weren't so keen on irritating me with your choices."

"I'm sorry, please," he begs.

"How am I supposed to trust you?" I sigh, "This is what I was worried about, this right here, this is exactly why I don't fall in love."

"God, can you stop being so stubborn so I can talk?" He shouts.

"No, Clay, I'm pissed, and I have every right to be pissed. Unlike you, I didn't go hook up with someone else cause my heart was broken. News flash, my heart was broken too!" My emotions get the best of me, and the light on my bedside pops. Shattering glass all over the bedroom floor. It doesn't faze him this time.

As we argue back and forth, he finally approaches me, pinning me up against the wall. I don't know what to expect. I've seen him mad, but his anger has never been towards me; then he kisses me hard and says.

"Don't ever be upset with me again, please. You are too much a part of my heart for me to let go. I love you, Ray, only you." I slip out from under his arms and walk onto the balcony to get air.

God knows I need it!

I feel his hands around my waist, and he pulls me close. "You don't feel the same way anymore? I remember you would shiver every time I said your name," he whispers in my ear. I can feel the smile on his face. "You said nothing felt as good when you would look into my eyes. You do love me. You're just afraid to admit it."

"I don't know; I've never felt anything like this before," I say quietly, trying not to show how he makes me feel. I do love him, I still love him, and I will always love him.

"Well, I can tell you one thing that's for certain, I love you," he says softly.

I turn around to face him; his face is soft with emotion. He grabs me tighter, and I can't help but melt for this man. I know deep down that he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. No matter what challenges we may face, my love for him will never fade.