The Broken Raven - A Paradox Of Two Worlds Series Book 1

Chapter 55 - Raven

I wake up in the morning, hoping that the previous night was only a dream and that I was able to resist the need to let Clay sleep in my bed. I turn to see him, this magnificent creature, sleeping next to me. I can't help but feel a mix of guilt and desire as I watch him peacefully breathe. I know that what we did was wrong, but I can't help the way I feel. The chemistry between us is undeniable, and I've never felt such a strong connection with anyone before. I try to push the thoughts out of my mind, but I can't help but glance back at Clay and wonder what could have been if things were different. The guilt is eating away at me, but so is the desire.

Seriously? What is wrong with me?

I quickly grab my t-shirt off the floor, and I quietly tiptoe out of my room and head to the kitchen. Grabbing Tylenol for the monster in my head and some water, I swallow the pill and then make coffee.

I'm always finding myself with the London boy.

"Morning." I hear Clay behind me.

"Morning," I say nervously but avoid looking at him.

"I knew you would regret last night." He says.

I look at him and hand him a cup of coffee. Taking a sip, I say, "I don't regret it, but that's the last time. We need to stay away from each other."

He puts his mug down and walks toward me. Backing me up against the counter, he lifts me and sits me down. With his hands on my waist, he grips me tightly. I feel electrified at his touch. I want to kiss him once more, and he can tell. His lips press against mine, and I let him take control. He pulls me close, and I feel myself dampen by his hardness against me. I fight for control, but I lose the will to fight my emotions around him and give in once I feel him breathe on me. Our bodies touch. His hand lingers on my thigh as I breathe heavily. He pulls my panties off, and I undo his pants. He slowly enters and takes over. My senses take over, and they make no sense at all. This is wrong, and we shouldn't be doing this. But right now, I can't bring myself to care about the consequences. The pleasure is too intense and consuming, and I give in completely to the forbidden desire. The guilt will come later, but for now, all I can think about is how good it feels to be with him in this way.

I can't believe everything his body makes me want to do. I can't explain what he does to me. I live in a fantasy world. My body is shaking, and I want him to continue to make me feel like this. It's like he has a spell on me that I can't break, and I need to find a way to control my desires before they consume me completely.

"Clay," I whisper in his ear as his hand glides down my lower back. Within minutes, we both release. He looks at me and smiles.

"We can't do this anymore, "

"I don't care how long it takes, but I'm going to win you back." He says as he buttons up his jeans. He walks to the door, and my conversation with Mr. Michaels crosses my mind. I know that as long as Sloane is around, he and I can never be together. I look at him, and my heart breaks once again when I say.

"I mean it, Clay, you and I are over." He walks out and slams the door. I jump at the sound. Tears come down, soaking my cheeks. This is the right thing to do.

I hope so. I can't keep going through this pain anymore.

Laying on the edge of this disaster, I got caught up again. No matter what I do, all I do is think of him. He has no idea what he means to me. I put my mug in the sink and head to my room. Laying under my covers, I cry. I feel empty. He is my first true love, from the first kiss to the last hug. I feel like an evil person. I was the one who put a dart through his heart, and now we're both back to where we started. I hug the bear he gave me and hold it tightly.

"Time will take us apart, but I will always love you, I promise," I say, wishing he was here to hear that.

⁂

The weeks go by, and I'm hiding away, hoping that he'd call me. I can't seem to get him off my mind. Our last hookup made me feel things I never thought I would feel. I start to think maybe I could just tell him and everything will be fine. But Logan has said Clay is very protective, and our plan would not end well.

I turn the corner off-campus, and there he is. He smiles a little and continues talking to the girls he is with. I feel jealous. I know I shouldn't; I was the one who broke things off.

"Ray?" I turn to see Brie waving me down. I stop and wait for her to catch up.

"What's up?"

"I have a question. You can say no, but..." I cut her off. "Just ask." I smile.

"I was wondering if you would be okay with Clay and Logan hanging out at our place today."

"I don't care. I'm meeting Zack for coffee anyway, so I'm not going home just yet, plus it's your apartment. You don't need to ask me."

"Are you sure?" She looks at me as if I'm going to break down into tears. I grab her shoulders and laugh. "I'm sure, even though Clay and I aren't together, that doesn't mean you can't bring him over. He is your friend. Plus, I'm sure he and I can be civil towards each other." Okay, that last part was a lie. She hugs me and runs back to Logan, standing by Clay. I turn around and head to the café.

"Hey," I say to Zack as I sit down.

"Hey, you." He smiles.

"I got you your coffee." I hand him his drink, and he smiles and thanks me. We sit and talk about classes and how finals are coming up. When I raise my head, I see Logan, Brie, and Clay enter. As he walks over to the counter, Clay fixes his gaze on me. I droop my head and turn away.

"Why not apologise? You still love him, and he still loves you." Zack says.

"It's not that simple. As long as Sloane is around, she will do anything she can to hurt me. Zack, she wants me dead, or did you forget that?"

"No, I remember. You can't be anywhere near him until all your powers manifest." He rolls his eyes and waves his hands. I shake my head at his actions.

"Exactly, and I'll be damned if she is the one to kill me before that happens." I whisper. I can feel the anger and fear bubbling up inside me.

"Maybe you guys can still hook up on the low?" I raise my eyebrow and smirk.

"That's not a bad idea."

"I know. I just don't like seeing you sad." He tells me as he sports a goofy grin that instantly melts away the anger and fear bubbling up inside me.

I smile and hug him. We part ways. Heading home, I think of Zack's idea. Maybe it could work. I start brainstorming different ways to execute it and realise that it could potentially solve a lot of my problems. As I walk through the quiet streets, my mind races with possibilities, and I can feel a glimmer of hope starting to form. It's worth a shot.