Chapter 56 - Raven

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When I get home, I find the trio seated in the living room. To avoid them when I enter my room, I begin listening to music. I consider how this might work while sitting on my bed. I want to be with him because I love him, but I also can't put my life in danger because of Sloane. If she wants a war, she will get one, but not until I am fully empowered. When it comes to this aspect of my life, I am in charge.

I grab my phone and look at the time. I get up and head to the shower. I know I'm procrastinating talking to Clay, but I need a minute to think. I get out and throw on some cotton shorts and a t-shirt, turning up the volume of the music to drown out their voices and contemplate how to approach him.

I want to hear him express that he still wants me. Although I've gone through changes, I'm still the same girl he knew before. I am not any different because of it. To have him back, I would sacrifice everything else. It becomes intolerable to even consider getting near to him. I should be content with the life I live and the things I do, but I'm not.

It's the sweetest thing I've ever heard when he says those three words, so I want to hear him tell me he loves me.

I walk down the hall and look at Clay. "Clay, can I talk to you for a second?"

He nods and follows me to my room. He closes the door, but I step outside on the balcony. He takes his jacket off and places it over my shoulders.

"It's cold out. You need to be covered."

"Thanks, but I'm fine." Taking it off and handing it to him.

"What's with you and Brie? It's the beginning of February, and you both have no feelings for the cold." I shrug my shoulders.

"I miss you." He says softly. His eyes tell me the truth when I gaze up at him. I don't know what occurred, but my lips suddenly made contact with his as they were telling me all he was feeling internally. He gives me a fiercer kiss while tightly holding me. I can no longer control myself and bring him back into my room.

He picks me up and lays me across him while he sits on the edge of my bed. My mouth won't let go of his. In his arms, I feel complete once more. As I back away, he says, "Are we back together?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh, okay." His sadness glooms in his eyes.

"I want to be with you, trust me, I do, but with Sloane around, we can't go back to what we were."

"Screw what Sloane thinks." Rage ensues within him.

I get off him and yell. "Clay, she's killed girls to prove a point—any girl who got too close to you. What do you think she will do knowing who I am and that I'm all over what she claims is hers? I can't fight her off, not now."

He gets up and pulls me close. He kisses my hair and says, "I didn't know. I'm sorry. Is this why you pulled away?"

"Yes." And another reason, but he doesn't need to know that.

He cups my face and gently kisses me. "Well, whatever happens, we will survive." He says.

"I don't want to survive, Clay, I want to live and us being together; I won't be alive for much longer."

"So, what do you suggest we do?"

"Keep whatever we have on the low. Outside these walls, we don't care for each other, but in this room..." He cuts me off.

"I get to love you all I want." He smiles.

"Exactly."

"Then it's settled, I'm not leaving this room, and neither are you." He picks me up and lays me on the bed.

"Clay." I start to laugh. "No, that's not the plan."

"Fine." He pouts. "Every night at midnight, I'll be here. No one will know."

"Good, let's keep it that way."

"Well, I better go than before, those two think we have made up." He leans down and kisses me. "See you in a few." He winks.

He walks out, and I can hear him tell Logan he is leaving. He sounds mad. So he does understand what needs to be done. One touch of his hand was all it took, and I can't wait to see that boy again. Once he is gone, I head out to the kitchen. Brie says goodnight as she heads upstairs with Logan. I grab a bottle of water and head back to my room.

The darkness consumes me, trying to suffocate me as I fight it off.

Raven, let me out now!

The monster in my head screams as my body trembles and I feel myself slipping away. The same darkness that took my father has now found me.

I must have dozed off as I awaken to the sound of snow harshly hitting my window. I get up to see that a storm has brewed. The night feels weary, and the town is covered in white dust. I grab my school books and lay back down. Time flies by as I'm studying, and I didn't realise it was midnight.

"Hey." I see Clay standing at the balcony door.

"Hey, beautiful." He says as he takes a seat on my bed. "God, time couldn't go any slower. I'm very impatient, you know?" His voice sounds devilish in his English accent. He shakes his head, and snow sprinkles off his lush hair.

"Shhh!" I put my finger on his lips, and he smirks.

"Come here." He pulls me into him and holds me tight. "Baby?"

"Yeah?" I say.

"I just want to hold you for a bit, nothing else. I just want you in my arms for the time I'm able to." I lay my head on his chest and grab his phone, setting the alarm for five in the morning. "We have five hours to be in each other's arms and get some sleep." He wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head, whispering, "That's all I need."

He strips down to his boxers, and we get under the covers. With his hands on my stomach, he pulls me closer.

"I love you, Raven."

"I love you, Clay." We lay there, and I know that my time with him will be cut short if I fall asleep. "Baby?"

"Yeah?" He responds.

"Don't ever let go again." He pulls me closer. "I won't," he promises with a kiss to my forehead.

I turn to face him. "No, I mean it, no matter what I do." I try to warn him.

"Ray, I'm never letting you go ever again, I promise." He kisses me, and I feel the butterflies flutter in my stomach.

The thought of losing him again was too much to bear. But now, with his promise and his lips pressed against my forehead, I know that we'll never be apart again. I gaze up at him, taking in every detail of his face, from the creases around his eyes to the faint stubble on his chin. It's moments like these that I never want to forget.

I burrow my face into his chest, closing my eyes and taking in his scent. The scent of his cologne mixed with the natural smell of his skin was intoxicating. I can't help but let out a content sigh. Clay holds me tightly, his arms wrapped around my back, as if he is afraid to let me go. And I didn't mind one bit. I feel safe and loved in his embrace. I close my eyes and cherish the moment, hoping it will last forever.

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