I can't help but think of Raven when I look up at the ceiling, hear her laugh, or feel her touch. I feel ill to my stomach after learning that she has left. I vowed to never leave her side again, but despite being three hours away, I am still here. I've loved her forever, even lifetimes before.
Over and over I fall; without her in my life, I just wouldn't be living at all. I just want to hold her in my arms and hold her right where she belongs.
Knock knock
"Come in."
"Hey, so I guess Raven was heading back into town, but Logan's car broke down. Could we borrow yours to go pick her up as the tow truck follows us?" Brie asks.
Here is my chance, so I sit up and ask, "Where is she? I'll go get her."
Brie smiles and tells me she's about an hour outside of town. I get my keys and head out, meeting the tow truck driver. The driver follows me. I don't want her to be alone on the road at night, as it is starting to grow dark.
⁂
I approach behind her after spotting Logan's car. She exits without saying anything. As Logan's car is being connected to the truck, I assist her with her luggage.
We get in and head home. She says nothing during the silent journey, and I'm at a loss for words. I assist her in removing her things from the car after we arrive at her apartment.
"I can help you bring them up." I look at her, trying to get her to at least say one word to me.
"No, I'm fine." She says as she walks away. With my head down, I walk to the driver's side. "Clay?"
"Yeah?" I look up at her, and my eyes lock on hers. "Thanks for helping me today." She smiles back.
"You're welcome. What are friends for?" I say as my heart shatters into a million pieces.
"Right, friends." She says, and her smile disappears. I open my door when I hear her call my name again. I look at her; she drops her bags and runs into my arms. Her lips press against mine, and my arms wrap around her.
"Thank you, again." She walks away before I can say anything. I lick my lips and smile.
⁂
I head home and head up to my room, avoiding conversation with Brie and Logan. Tears start coming down my face.
Am I crying?
Since I was a young child, I have not cried. Without her, I feel broken and alone. I enter the shower and allow the hot water to burn away my emotions. I don a t-shirt and sweats once I'm out. I eventually make my way downstairs to find Brie and Logan.
"So are we still going with the annual Christmas party here for all the misfits like us that didn't go home for the break?" Logan asks.
"Hell, why not?" I might as well drink and have my mind occupied instead of thinking of Raven twenty-four, seven.
⁂
Christmas Day has passed, and it's the day of the party. As I drink my beer and Sloane is all over me, I pick up her scent. I look up and see Raven standing there. She appears to be hurt by what she sees, and I can see it in her eyes. She circles back outside after turning around. I stand up and chase her.
Standing there in the night, her hair glistens in the moonlight. "Ray?"
She turns to face me. "Sorry, I just... I don't know why I agreed to come here." She says softly. "Come inside. It's cold out here." I tell her.
"No, I think I'm just going to go home." She walks up to me and places her hand on my cheek. I take a deep breath and wait for the worst part. "I hope you find someone who loves you just as much as I do or more. You deserve it." She kisses my cheek and walks away.
"At least let me drive you home," I shout. She turns to face me and smiles. "I'm okay. Thank you." She turns on her heel and walks away.
I thought my heart couldn't break more than it already has, but I'm again proven wrong. She's everything I need. She walked out of my dreams and just kept walking. I stand there for a moment, watching her disappear into the night. The streetlights cast a soft glow around her figure, making her look like an angel.
I try to shake off the feeling of despair that's creeping up inside me. I know I should let her go, but I can't seem to bring myself to do it. Every step she takes away from me feels like a dagger in my chest. I take a deep breath and try to compose myself before heading back inside. As I walk, I can't help but replay the moment in my head over and over again, wondering if I should have said something more or done something differently. But it's too late now. She's gone, and I'm left with nothing but a hollow feeling.

YOU ARE READING
The Broken Raven - A Paradox Of Two Worlds Series Book 1
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