Region-Beta Paradox (Avengers X Male Reader)

For Us

The days that followed couldn't have been worse. Though you got better with time physically and you were ultimately discharged and allowed to go back to your room with Steve, both of you worsened mentally and emotionally. You were still bedridden most of the days and Steve had been working tirelessly trying to track down Clint or find even a hint of where James could be. Had it not been for Tony and him sending food to your room every day, you weren't sure if you'd even be eating. Once you had told Steve everything about your meetings with Mace and Clint, he had worked things out with the Council and the entire SHIELD was now on the lookout for them. There had been some speculations that Mace and Clint could be working with other organizations. There had been rumours about recent activity in operations that had resembled HYDRA's past activities but nobody knew what to believe in and what leads to follow for now.

The past week had been especially testing for both of you. Your powers had been fluctuating a lot and Steve was out working most of the days. Sometimes, he didn't even come home at night. When he did, it felt like all you guys did was argue. It had started out as light bickering but had been down spiralling. On the days you felt good, you went to SHIELD as well but even then, you tried to stay of out Steve's way. Maybe Steve had felt it too because he had been staying at work more often and you guys had been talking less. Both of you blamed the time and the situation, not each other. Nonetheless, anger, frustration, and helplessness sometimes needed ways to be let out.

"Hey," You said as Steve walked into the room. You had been sitting on the couch, going over some files. It was around eight in the evening. Steve hadn't come home last night and he looked like he hadn't slept at all. 

"Hey, Y/N," He said as he put down his bag on the floor and headed straight for the bathroom to take a shower. You sighed and got up to put away his bag and boots that he had left by the door. You hadn't eaten yet so you plated both yours and Steve's dinner. It was just takeout that Tony had sent.

Steve came back after fifteen minutes and put on a fresh pair of clothes before sitting down at the dining table with a sigh. He was reading something on his phone when you put his table in front of him and sat down with yours. "Isn't there something else?" He asked as he put down his phone.

"Jarvis ordered it, do you want me to order something else for you?" You asked.

Steve sighed and shook his head, "Let it be." He said as he began to eat. "What'd you do all day?" 

"Not much, just went over some independent organizations that are currently active. The more I dig into it, the more possibilities come forward." You said. 

"Yeah," Steve replied. "You could've cooked if you had free time, by the way." He added under his breath.

"Except maybe I didn't?" You snapped and Steve looked up nervously. He clearly hadn't expected you'd hear that. "Can you see the heap of files over there? Do you have any idea how-" You stopped and took a deep breath. "Whatever, man." You got up and wrapped your plate before putting it in the fridge. You were about to back to the couch when Steve grabbed your hand. 

"Y/N, wait, I'm sorry." He said.

You were about to turn and yell at him when you realized that he hadn't even said anything that justified you getting pissed off. The man had just hoped for some homecooked food and if truth be told, you wouldn't have minded some either. "No, I'm sorry." You said as he stood up and hugged you.

"I don't like what's becoming of us." He whispered.

"Me neither." You said into his chest as he hugged you tighter. It took you a couple of seconds to realize that he was crying when his body started shaking a little and weirdly, you were glad for it. Ever since James had gone missing, Steve had been working like a robot and there had been a distance between you two increasing every day. This, somehow, felt a lot better. You two stayed like that for some time before you led him to the bed. He had stopped crying but every now and then, he'd sniffle and start all over again.

You stayed up all night and held him as he slept, his head on your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair and massaged his head. He woke up once around two in the morning from a nightmare but calmed down and went back to sleep when massaged his head again. Every night, you'd think of how different things would've been had you just been smarter. Had you told Steve about the Mace's interference and what Clint had been doing, things wouldn't have gone this way. Hell, sometimes you thought how much better things would have been had you never existed.

But tonight, no thoughts came to you. You knew you'd make out of this. You knew you will have James back and Steve will get better and you'll be the perfect family. With him in your arms tonight, you couldn't even dare to think of any other possibility. It was all as clear as it could be. You two will have a future together with James and you'll make it out of this. 

***

You let Steve sleep in while you got up and made breakfast. You decided on making pancakes and milkshakes since it was Steve's breakfast and you knew nothing could light him up like a tall glass of extra sweet milkshake. You put away Steve's food from last night and set up a new plate for him. You stacked some extra pancakes before going over to wake Steve up. You woke him with a kiss and you smiled seeing him smile.

"Good morning," Steve said, his voice hoarse and deep. 

"Did you sleep well?" You asked and he nodded.

"Better than I've had in a long time." 

"Well, get up and get your ass in the shower then." You said as you winked at him. "I made pancakes."

Steve's smile dropped just as you said that. He sat up with a frown, "Y/N, you didn't have to do that. I'm sorry for what I said last night, I-"

"Shush," You put your finger to his lips and gestured him to get up. "Now be a big boy and get ready before it gets cold." 

"Sir, yessir." He got up and gave a salute before rushing to the bathroom. You chuckled and sat at the table, waiting for him. He got back in a few minutes and though both of you were really hungry, you made your way through slowly. You spent most of the time talking, really talking in a long time and not just arguing or forcing small talk. Just as you had gotten to the end of your plate and Steve was helping himself for seconds, his phone rang.

"Hello?" He spoke as he picked up the call. His eyes locked with yours and his face went blank, set hard as marble. Your stomach dropped as you saw the worry in Steve's eyes return and just like that, the moment you had worked so hard to build went away. "I'll be there in twenty. We'll then." He said and got up after hanging up. "They have a strong lead. Security cameras picked Clint's signature near Alaska." He told you.

"Alaska?" You asked as you saw Steve get up and change into his work clothes with the swiftness and urgency that he had been taught in the military. By the time it took you to process things, Steve was putting on his boots. "I'm coming with you." You said as you rushed to change.

Steve stopped and turned to you. "Y/N, no." He said. "Your powers-"

"I'll manage." You said sternly, locking your eyes with his and staring him down to let him know that you were serious and you had thought it through.

He understood like he always did, but he still shook his head. He knew the stakes, James' life could be on the line. With Clint there, he wasn't sure you were emotionally strong enough to go into this fight with powers as destructive and unpredictable as yours. 

You knew that look in his eyes. "I have a feeling, Steve," You said. "I'm meant to be there." You said. "I just know I'm supposed to be there."

Steve gulped and looked away. Even the thought of you getting hurt sent shivers down his spine. The mere thought of seeing you or James get hurt made him want to get back in the bed and never get up. But he knew he couldn't stop you. You deserved to go as much as he did. Though he had a bad feeling about it, he shoved it back and nodded.

You nodded in return, "I'll be strong, Steve." You said. "For us." 

Steve nodded again as he went back to putting on his other boot. If you were there and if you were strong, he'd learn to be strong too. For James, for you, and for himself for once. This was his chance at happiness and he'd let nobody get in his way for it.