Region-Beta Paradox (Avengers X Male Reader)

Always

Steve had no sense of things around him and he didn't know how he had gotten on the Quinjet. All knew was that James was in his arms and you weren't. He didn't know what to think, what to say, or what to do. His whole body and mind had gone numb. He held James tightly and only let go when he saw Natasha. He couldn't make out what was he saying but when Natasha took James from Steve, he let her. When they got back to the city and to the tower, all he heard and saw were people talking. He couldn't figure out what they were saying or what was happening around him. Just that he was here and you were gone. And everything was over.

***

Steve wasn't new to shellshock and grieving but this was different. When he came to a day after the explosion, he knew he will never be the same. He'd shaken himself and gotten up to find James who was kept in a ward down the hallway from Steve's. The doctors tried to stop him, telling him he should rest but he knew he had to go on. James had been awake when Steve came in and seemed happy. 

"Where's baba?" He asked, looking over Steve's shoulder at the door.

Steve forced himself to smile, "Do you want to go home, James?" 

"Yesh!" He screeched as he stood up on the hospital bed when Steve came and sat with him. "I don't like here." He said and wrapped his arms around Steve's neck. "Missed you and baba."

"Yeah?" He said and carefully removed the cannula from James' hand. "Were you scared?" 

James shook his head, "I'm a brave boy." He said, putting his hands on his hips as he puffed his chest. Steve chuckled and wiped back a tear. 

"Come on, let's get you home," he said and took him in his arms. A doctor tried to stop him but Steve didn't listen. He wouldn't listen. 

***

James jumped from Steve's arms as soon as they got back to their room. Steve didn't stop him and let him run around. He was exhausted and didn't want to do anything but just lie down. A thought crept up in his mind about how much better it would've been had he just stayed there with you. But it wasn't just him now. There was James and Steve had to take care of him. He had to get up and walk it off for James. He sighed and walked to the bathroom to draw a bath for James. Both James and him reeked of the hospital.

He bit his lip when he saw the tub. It had been a long time since either of you had used it. Steve distinctively remembered how you had asked him to get into a bath with him just a few days ago. You had gotten back from the headquarters with him. All you had done was ask him that and Steve had gotten mad. He had yelled at you, wondering how you could even think of such a thing when James was missing. You hadn't yelled back like you usually did that night and had simply gone to shower alone. Steve shook off the thoughts that ran in his head and got down on his knees to scrub the tub. He rinsed it before turning on the tap.

"Hey, Jarvis?" He called out.

"Welcome back, Mr Rogers."

"Where's Tony?"

"Mr Stark is currently at the SHIELD headquarters. I'll notify him for you if you want."

"Yes, please do," Steve said as he raised his sleeve and dipped his hand in the water to check if it was warm enough. "James!" He called out. He waited for a minute and was on his feet at once when James didn't respond nor could he hear him. He ran out, looking for him, and stopped when he saw James sitting in front of the fridge eating pancakes.

"Wh-Where'd you get that?" He asked when James looked up at him and he realized he had just been staring.

"Dada?" James stood up. "Why you crying?" He walked towards Steve with the plate and handed it over to Steve.