Knock, Knock

Eighty

Kathryn

The day had finally arrived. Or rather, the day before that day arrived. I tried not to express my disappointment with Casey's parting. I had approximately 20 hours until she would no longer be in my apartment or the state of Texas. I knew this day was coming from the time we got together to now and yet, I didn't feel prepared. Brown eyes land on me cautiously, toothbrush still in her mouth as she put her curls into an afro puff. 

She removed the toothbrush and spat into the sink. I heard the water run for a few seconds before shutting off and a fit body exiting my restroom. I glanced away from the girl, feeling depressed. My eyes move over the several boxes scattered around my room. Christian, Edwin, and Cassandra would be here in the late morning to gather her belongings.

Tears gathered on my waterline. I swallowed the lump in my throat, forcing my tears away. I sat on the bed, hands tucked between my thighs as I kept my eyes away from my girlfriend. Casey stopped in front of me. All I could see was her shadow fixing her bra in the back, to no avail as she turned around. "Help me out" she muttered softly, sure not to scare me.

My eyes finally betray me as I glance at her unclamped bra and bareback. I move closer to her, my fingers grabbing onto the fabric and pulling it closer towards each other. Only, my hand had stopped. My eyes raked over the smooth skin of her back. There were light scratch marks from our previous intimate nights but other than that, her skin held no scar or flaw. 

I pressed my hand flat against her back, "Stay with me, Casey" I pleaded. Though I wanted nothing more than for her to remain in this apartment with me, comforting me when I'd have an episode, I still wanted her to go out and have a life of her own. Yet, my composed face broke as I rested my forehead against her, light sobs slipping past my lips.

After seconds of silence, the girl spoke. "I want to Kathryn, I do. But--"

Sighing, I nodded my head "I know. UCLA is your dream college and you've been accepted to attend. I can't hold you back from your dream. The selfish part of me wants to cancel your ticket, lock you in my bedroom and never let you go."

I chuckle lightly, "Is it too late to decide that I want to go with you?"

Casey turned, causing me to move back. She held my eyes with a playful smile held on her kissable lips. "No, but, I think it's better you don't. Not saying that I don't want to live with you but we've only been together for 8 months, Ryn. We're not ready for that type of commitment. Some time apart will mature us in keeping a healthy and mature relationship."

Frowning, I glance away, "When did you become such a love expert?"

Hands resting on my exposed thighs, the girl got closer. "You'll be fine without me. I know you're scared because you change with your alters and you don't ever have any recollection of what they're doing. But I trust Kat isn't out to harm you and I doubt Riess wants to cause any harm" she says reminding me of the alter we'd been introduced to a week ago. There was another alter who, just like Kat, didn't mind being called Kathryn. 

"Maybe when you get back I'll be cured of all my disorders. I'll be just like how I was when we first started dating."

Casey furrows her brows, not at all liking how I spoke about my disorders. I love how supportive she is. Our friends were also supportive, but not the way Casey was. Her words always reassured me, though days later I knew I was doubting everything all over again. "You're talking like you have a disease" she hums.

She pulls my hand towards her lips. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I love you the way you are. Oddly enough, trauma adds character and it makes everyone more mature. I prefer PTSD and DID Kathryn over the history teacher I had a crush on, she was pretty boring."