Knock, Knock

Seventy-two

Kathryn

Ever since I was a young child, I never imagined living the life that I am living now. I always thought that I would meet a nice man, fall in love, settle down. I always pictured having a big family and becoming a stay-at-home mom. 

Never in a million years would I have pictured myself in such a shitty situation.

"Howard? Kathryn Howard?" I glance away from the white tile floor, to the woman dressed in purple scrubs. My heart fell as I realize the situation I was in. Remembering why I was here in the first place. I needed answers. Casey needed answers. Emily needed answers. I stand from the chair, following the woman to a private room. 

My mind played those few words that fell from Casey's lips two days ago. Personality Disorder? I wanted to tell her to stop playing with me, that it wasn't funny. But with the face she was making, I knew she wasn't just playing a joke on me. She was worried and even though she wouldn't admit it, I could see the fear behind her pure brown eyes.

The nurse smiles as she places my file on the counter. First step to healing was to get results. I couldn't claim I had something without medical acknowledgment. Then if it was true that I had a personality disorder along with post-traumatic stress disorder, I would find a therapist. 

Sighing, I pull my phone out of my purse. I notice the few messages from my girlfriend, causing me to smile. The sight of her contact name puts me at ease.

My love: Are you at your Doctor's appt? 

My love: I get out in a few minutes, should I uber to you?

My love: I keep forgetting I no longer have a car, getting around by uber is hard :(

My love: I know I saw you Saturday morning but I miss you, I love you <3

I send her the address, knowing I would love to ride home with her after this appointment. Once the message is sent, in comes the doctor. I quickly turn off my phone and set it in my purse, providing him my undivided attention. Green eyes land on me.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I watch as he closes the door behind him to further give us privacy. I knew it was procedure, but I suddenly grew uncomfortable in the room alone with him. He grabs my file, "Kathryn Howard, it's so nice to meet you. How have you been?"

"G-good, is it mandatory that the door remains closed?"

His eyes land on the door before meeting mine. "It's not, just for privacy reasons. Are you claustrophobic? I have no problem opening the door if that's what you want."

I eye him for a few seconds before my eyes land on the door. The longer it remains closed the more unsafe I feel. I knew he wasn't like the man I had to deal with recently, but I didn't want to be shut off from other onlookers. "Please open the door" I mutter softly.

He hesitates, to which I notice.

"O-open the door! I-I can't! I can't stay here!" I yell grabbing my purse and shooting towards the door. "Miss Howard, are you okay?"

My hands drop to my side as my vision darkens. Suddenly I'm in my apartment, hiding in my closet. I knew this scene, I knew it all too well. I feel a warm hand on my shoulder, causing me to cower. I scoot into the corner of my closet, tears staining my cheeks as I hug my knees to my chest.

"Kathryn?" His voice echoes in my head. He was still here, haunting me. I was reliving this day again. 

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