Higher power - Lando Norris

18. Stolen dance (part two)

( this is part 2 of chapter 18, a long chapter I first wanted this to be my first smut chapter but that seems for me to fast. I want Nina and Lando to have a bit more reality and drama before having fun in the bedroom, so here we go Enjoy XX) 

Trigger warning: thoughts of depression

Lando looks confused at me "If you don't want to have sex I totally understand but I can't hold myself back if we continue now" I smile at him and put my hand on his cheek " I'm okay and I want this". He doesn't waist another minute before kissing me again.

He kissed my lips and went down to my neck, taking nibs on my neck leaving little red spots on my neck. He was hungry for me and he wouldn't hide it anymore, he went down to my chest and made his way slowly to my breast. He looked up at me and smiled gently before his arm went under my body, he struggled with me bra strap and I giggled, "you are really clumpsy, never clipped a bra before?" he gave smiled shyly "actually no, I never did" I look at him with a serious face "does that mean,," he smiled at me "No I'm not a virgin, oh no god, are you?" I look away a bit ashamed "Yes I never had sex before" Lando sat up again, with still his hips on mine. I lay back with my head on the bed and play with my hands not daring to look Lando in his eyes. "why didn't you tell me Nina?" he ask while laying next to me, the whole mood changed in the room and I wasn't going to have sex with Lando tonight I knew that for sure.

"I don't know Lando, I thought it didn't matter." I stand up and put my dress back on. "Well I think it does matter, your not going to give up you virginity to just a person", "Your not just a person Lando don't be stupid", '" Well I think if you didn't said this and we had sex tonight we both would regret it" I look at him with big eyes, how could he? "what the hell Lando , why would you regret it?" "I don't want to take your virginity and when we don't work out you can get a rumour started about abuse or stuff, it would ruin my career", "you've got to be kidding me right? this is a joke right?"  I start laughing, how could be this guy so freaking stupid.  "I'm dead serious Nina, I don't want my career to be ruined by just a girl" well this point I was about to lose my temper. "Just a girl? you think I'm just a girl? All that we had was just nothing?  I was just another hoe you would fuck and you would leave. How could I be so fucking stupid?" I start laughing in his face and he wants to speak up "No your more than just a girl,  I just want to take thing slow", "well you better fucking leave, I'm pissed off and I do not want to see your face anymore. What the hell? Why do you have to do this to me?" he looks down at his feet "I'm sorry I didn't meant what I just said, I freaked out", "Well think before you say something next time, get out!"

He stands up and walks through the door, I feel already a tear on my cheek luckily the lights where still not on so Lando couldn't see me crying. "Please don't do this to me Nina" I hear him whisper when he stands by the door. He looks back at me and I start crying and sobbing. Lando probably heard me but didn't dare to come closer. "Please Nina let me stay?" I couldn't talk and walked towards the window, I couldn't look at him any longer he broke a piece of my heart I didn't even knew he owned that piece. I hear foot steps coming closer and smell his perfume, I wanted to say something but I couldn't. I felt his hand on my shoulder and I turn around, I look at him and he sees my bloodshot eyes "Lando you can't do this right now, give me some time. I have to think about this? " I felt sober again and felt myself feeling numb again. All the happiness I felt these day left through the window, and they wouldn't return tonight or tomorrow or this week.

He stepped back from me and I spotted a tear on his cheek, he took a deep breath and turned around when he finally reached for the door he spoke up "Please talk to me before you leave, I don't want to miss u till I don't know when" I don't answer him not knowing if I would be ready by tomorrow for this conversation. 

When he finally left the room, I let myself fall to my knees. I didn't cry , I didn't feel sad, I didn't feel happy. I felt nothing, just like before I went here I felt nothing only numb and it was a really weird feeling but it was also giving my brain rest. Not thing about anything but just pain is what I felt, physical pain. I felt asleep on the ground and my body turned cold, I didn't feel the pain of the wooden floor and I wasn't feeling cold, I felt tired and I just never wanted to wake up again. Lando made my feel tonight like a nobody and I let myself believe he told me the truth. I was the one who should be sick not my mom, nobody would miss me if I wasn't on this earth anymore.

( I know this chapter is really small but it was too much to be all in one chapter, will be writing all day because running out of my drafts) 

Lots of Love  XX