Higher power - Lando Norris

20. Don't let go

 I was back for a week now, home felt like a hospital. Every day two doctors stopped by and there were constant people we knew around my mom to say either goodbye or to help with everything around the house. I hated it, I wanted it to be just me and my mom and the peace of our house. My mom was tired and I could see her zest for life was gone, she was done with breathing and being in pain. It was finally night when everybody left, it was the first time since my return when it was just me and my mom. I walked upstairs to her room and she looked at me with a smile when I walked in. I sat down on the side of the bed and grabbed her hand, in that moment I saw my mom again and it hurt me to think she wouldn't be always there when I need her in the future. "How was you break with Max?" she asked with a broken and weak voice "It was great,  I felt happy and Max took good care of me" she smiled and rubbed her thumb over my knuckels "Are you going to him when you sell the house?" I look down at my hands battling the tears in my eyes "I don't know mom, I think I will get lost without you" I start crying softly and look back at my mom "I'm not ready to be alone mom" she takes a deep breath and I could see the tear in her eyes "Honey, your a strong woman and whenever you feel lost or alone know I will always be there just look up at the sky and imagine me looking down at you" I smiled at her and laid down next to my mom, she played with the ends of my hair and I feel the peace my mother always just to give me. I finally fall asleep still being in my mom arms, she was the most loving person ever and I already felt a bit lost while she was still here with me.

When I woke up, I saw a doctor already standing besides the bed whispering to my mom. I sat up and looked at my mom, she smiled at me and I kissed her cheek. The doctor asked me to leave the room for a bit so she could do a check up on my mom. I went down stairs and made myself some coffee and toast, I sat down at the breakfast bar and opened my Instagram page. I saw a post of Lando, it looked like he was on a date with a girl so I clicked on the page of the girl who was tagged. It was his sister, I felt relieved, I still was scared of loosing Lando but I couldn't think to much about him, still being with my mom for her last moments.

I liked the picture and before I knew I got a message from Lando. I didn't text him when I got home and he still thought I need space so he gave me some space, till now.

Lando✨

Hey how are you and your mom?

Nina

I'm okay, still feeling numb. 

My mom on the other hand isn't doing great,

 she looks tired

Lando✨

That sounds not so good, I pray for your mom

If you ever need me I'm one call away.💖

I didn't respond to his text, I would call him either tonight or tomorrow. I wanted to hear his voice and I needed some support, Max called every day and he was a great support but I missed Lando and wanted to tell him about the struggles of my mom and myself because it felt like I was falling back into my old numb feeling less person. I ate my breakfast when the doctor came down stairs "hey Nina, how are you holding up? "  I smile at the doctor "I'm okay, its hard to see my mom like this but I knew these weeks would come" the doctor nods "when will you graduate?" I think for a little and check my phone for the date, "it will be in three weeks on the Monday" he nods "I'm sorry to say this but I hope your mom will make it till then but  I can't assure such a long time, she is really weak." I nod not wanting to break down again "Does she know?" the doctor nods and gave me a compassionate smile "She knew for a longer time it would be hard to live while you would graduate, her date was set next week so she is stronger then we think hopefully" I nod and the doctor left me alone, I hold my head in my hands and start crying again. I wanted to be strong but I would soon be alone and if I hated one thing it was being alone for a longer time.

I walked upstairs again and stood in the doorstep of the room from my mom. She was asleep and I looked at her, she was in peace when she slept but you could see the pain my mom was in. She was pale and skinny, she didn't look alive when she slept and she laid underneath 3 blankets, she was alive but in so much pain it was just unfair. I want for her to let the pain go and have a beautiful after life I believed in but I also wanted her to be on my side. Your mom is the most important person in your life, they put you on earth and lead you toward you living your own life. I would have to let her go on a point but I just couldn't right now, she couldn't leave me right now I needed her a little longer. I needed her forever but I knew forever would be maximum three more weeks, I started sobbing again I felt helpless.

I walked toward my room and without thinking I call Lando, I needed someone to calm me down and I knew he could do that. He picked up the phone and when I heard his voice I let out a deep breath feeling a bit less helpless "Hey Nina, your alright?" I breath in and out before  I speak " No I'm not my mom has 3 weeks left if we are lucky and I don't know what to do Lando, I feel so lonely" I sob again and he stays still for a while "Lando? your okay? " I hear his car getting started up and I hear his breathing, it was a lot faster then first. "Lando your alright?" he finally speak up again "I'm on my way Nina, I will be there in an hour. Can you text me your address" I send him my address and he hung up, I didn't knew what to think of it. I wanted space but I also wanted him as close as possible. 

I walked towards my moms room and saw she was awake again, my aunt was also their. It was a aunt I really liked so I didn't car, when I walked in she smiled at me and gave me and my mom some space "I will be right back Silke, if you need me just yell" with that my aunt left the room and I sat down next to my mom again. "Lando is coming over" her smiled grew bigger "the boy you talked about on the phone" I nod and she put her hand on my cheek "I'm glad he makes you happy honey, he sounds really caring. Don't let a stupid thing come between you too and when I pass let him in don't close your doors toward him" I feel tears on my cheeks again and just nod. "I'm so excited to meet him" I laugh, my mom sounded like a teenager girl who would meet her biggest celeb crush. 

My aunt walked in with some tea and we talked for a while about everything over the past months and it felt finally a bit normal again, for as far my situation was normal. My aunt was always really intressed in other peoples story so she listened to everything I had to say and then she told me about her vacation in Norway. We kept talking for about an hour when I heard a doorbell ring, I suddenly felt really nervous. "should I get it? It's probably a nurse" My aunt speaks up, my mother quickly responds with "No, Nina her boyfriend is her to support her, she will get him, right?" I look at my mom with panic in my eyes "It will be okay honey" my mom assured me and I stood up and walked downstairs. I open the door to Lando.......

A/N

CLIFFHANGERRRRR

Also I just wrote the  next chapter and I think it is one of the best chapters I wrote for this story it is dubble words of my normal chapters but I really like it. Also it can be a bit emotional for some people who are going through the same thing as Nina, I'm really sorry for you if  thats the case. 

Feel free to message me<3

Lots of Love XX