Higher power - Lando Norris

38. Mom?

Lando told me the story of his ex showing up at our hotelroom and telling him he wasn't worth any girl and that he could better be single for the rest of his life.  And how he pushed her away instead of talking about it to her, he told me about he would never forgive himself if I didn't make it. We cried together and I told Lando he should never think that way and that I loved him for the way he was. But still it didn't add up he saw her three weeks ago, so I needed to ask him one last question before putting this behind us, "can I ask you one last thing?" I ask Lando while looking at our interlocked hands, he nodded and squeezed my hand. " why did you see your ex again, three weeks ago?" he let out a small laugh before answering me, "I was mad at her, she let me do this to you so I wanted to let her know I never wanted to see her again and that she was an insecure little bitch" I let out a giggle, he didn't saw his ex because he still had feelings for her. He needed to let her know he didn't want to see her again.

I cupped his face and give his lips a soft peck, I missed his lips and he did too. Our kiss got more passionate and we kept going till it hurt my back, I needed to lay down because I was tired of all the interaction. Lando helpt me getting comfortable and kissed my forehead before he left to the kitchen to get me something to snack. We were finally back to our self and I then noticed how much I missed him, we were distanced from each other for the couple of weeks but I knew we would come together after this all will be gone.

After watching a movie and laughing together, I began to feel myself falling asleep. Lando was playing with my hair while my head was laying on his lap, Lando also noticed I wasn't really awake anymore so he laid my head down on the couch and stood up. He picked me up bridal style and carried me upstairs. He put me into my bed and kissed my forehead, I was woken up by the kiss and smiled at Lando, he wanted to walk out but I asked him to stay. He got into the bed and he spooned me, I felt calm and fell fast asleep.

I woke up in the USA hotelroom, was this all a dream or did I dream right now, I stood up from the bed to look in the mirror. When I looked in the mirror I saw my mom, was I in heaven? I started crying when I saw my mom, "mom is that you?" my mother smiled at me and I knew she was there "yes darling, it is me. Why are you here?" I looked at her, "I don't know, I think I died?" she started crying "no that can't be true, your way too young, you need to fight this" I walked away from the mirror, and my back touched someones chest. I turned around and faced Lando, "what are you doing here?" he started to laugh really hard "you couldn't do it, I never believed in you, you are weak and you know it", I started to cry even more and slapped his chest a couple of times. "I'm not weak!" I looked back to see if my moms still there but she was gone, "Mommmm, where are you? I need you!" I cried hysterically. I turned around and Lando was gone, I was alone in a dark room. I felt lonely, empty but I couldn't figure out were I was.

I woke up crying and sweating I was in panic and couldn't calm down, Lando also woke up and put his arms around me to let me know it was all a dream. This dream came back to me every night and it wouldn't go away. I was scared to sleep every night but tonight felt different, the nightmare came back but I felt safe when I knew Lando was just by my side. I hugged Lando tight and didn't let him go like he was the last thing I had in this world. "don't ever leave me Lando, please don't" he hugged me tight "I would never let you go, I love you" I felt safe in his arms, "I love you" he whispered again, "I love you too" and with that I fell asleep again hoping this time the nightmare wouldn't get back.

That night I finally slept some hours without having the nightmare, I just slept. Lando hold me all night and I felt safe in his arms. I knew he wouldn't leave and maybe that would stop my mind playing a game with me in my dreams. The nightmare made me insecure for  couple of weeks now, it replayed for 4 weeks long when I was in my coma so I started to believe what Lando told me in my nightmare. I was glad I finally heard something different from the real person and not the demon in my head telling me I wasn't worth of love. I still was insecure about my future because what if I really wasn't worth of love but Lando reassured me and I hoped it would help me get over it. I was worthy of love even if the demon in my head told me I wasn't.