Higher power - Lando Norris

24. I'm not going to make it

Two weeks went by and my mom got worse, the doctors were really insecure about her time to live. I tried to hide the sadness I felt for my mom because she was already in a lot of physical pain but I knew she knew how I felt, most night I laid with her in bed talking till she fell asleep. When I was sure she slept, I cried myself asleep and woke up before my mom would so she wouldn't see the tears I cried the night before. I almost didn't leave the house anymore, the only other person I would see in a week is Liv she would stop by every other day to check on me and my mom, she was like a sister to me and my mom was her second mom so she was also feeling  the fear of losing her.

Liv and me sat down at the table not talking, my mom had a check up from her doctor, he maybe could give us a update on her status but I don't know if I want to know her status. Liv finally spoke up "Nina, when it's time I will be there for you and you can come and live with me and my parents, I already discussed it with them" I look at her, tears starting to form in my eyes, I didn't really wanna think about the further because I didn't know what the further would be like on my own. "that's really nice Liv, I will think about it, okay?" she nods and stands up, she knees down before me and rubs my knee with her thumb while looking up at me. We didn't share words but just being their together gave us both comfort. "I don't want to lose her Liv, I don't know what I am without her" Liv nods and hugs me from my side "you will have to discover but your not on your own and I know you are gonna make your parents proud" I nod "I hope so". We hug for a while before the doctor comes back downstairs, he looks at us with a serious face. "your mom is worse than we thought, I don't want to say it but I have to" I grab Liv her hand and the doctor sights before he says "I think next week maybe be her last, the medicine doesn't really works anymore and the pain will take her body, the body will give up and she will pass away" I couldn't speak anymore, my mom would pass really soon and I wasn't ready for it. Liv was also crying but she managed to ask "does she knows?" the doctor nods "yes I told her and she looked  kinda relieved, she is in a lot of pain" Liv nods and hugs me thighter "Nina I know it hurts but you need to be there for your mom, if you need anything I will help you guys, you have my number right?" the doctor ask, I nod and stand up "thanks for everything, you helped us a lot" the doctor looks at me with empathy "it's going to be alright Nina, stay with people you love when the time comes" I nod and get tears in my eyes, the doctor gives me a hug, he was our doctor since the start so I knew him quiet well over the years. I hugged him back and we stood there for some time before I pulled back and walked him to the door. I got back inside and felt down to my knees when I closed the door, crying my eyes out before Liv stormed to my side to give me some support but I felt numb, I couldn't understand the words she was telling me and I couldn't see her facial expressing. 

She pulled me up and sat me down on the couch, I stared in front of me having no expression on my face. I just looked at nothing, I wasn't thinking about anything but my mom and the pain she was in. I wish it could be me laying there in pain, I knew my mom was happy it was her instead of me but still, I loved my mom more than anything she was the one of the three humans in this world who I could trust with my life. The other two are my brother and Liv but your mom is just different, suddenly I hear the door of my house open and I look to the side. I hear Liv talking to someone and she sounds really worried, I only can understand the words "she didn't talk for the last two hours and I didn't know what to do" were there already two hours gone with me just sitting on the couch, I could have spent those two hours on my mom, I felt bad. Suddenly I felt a arm around my shoulders but because I still didn't see clear or hear every sound I didn't notice it was Lando until I hear his voice. "hey Nina, it's me" he whispers while pulling me into his side, I grab his shirt and pull him towards me as close as I can, I finally felt a bit more calm. He played with the ends of my hair and talked to me with a soft voice. After hugging him for a while I sat up straight and looked him in his eyes, "my mom has only two weeks left" I say finally realising what will happen after three hours of a black out. Lando nods "Liv told me but I will be here for you and Liv will be here and your mom is still here so we will make it the best week possible before letting her go" I knew Lando always struggled with saying the right words at these type of situations but this sentence he just said made me feel a bit better after feeling the worst I ever felt.

I grabbed Landos hand and he turned around, we were standing upstairs and were about to go into my moms room but I was scared because I knew it would hit me again if I would see her face. Lando pulled me in a hug a whispered "do you wanna go in by yourself or do I have to come with you?" I think a while before I answer with "is it okay if I go in first and I will get you after some minutes" he nods "of course whatever you want sunshine". Lando wanted to pull back from the hug but I keep my arms around his waist not letting him go "you need to do it Nina, your mom needs you and you need your mom" I nod and look at him before letting go of him " I wanted to walk inside my moms room but I stop when I stood before her door, I look at Lando for the last time before I opened the door really softy.

"hey mom" I give her a fake smile to not let the tears already run over my cheeks, "hey honey" she whispers, I sit down at the side of her bed "so this will be it" I softly say and my mother laughs a little "for me yes but you have a whole life ahead darling" she says while stroking my cheek with her hand "I know you will have a hard time but just know me and your dad will be looking down at you, and we will always be proud at you even when we can't tell you in person. I want you to be a strong lady and never give up because you deserve the world, honey" tears were running down my cheeks, my mom tries to whipe them away but they were unstoppable.     "I can't live without you mom, I will have no one left. I will be alone forever wishing I was with you and dad" my mom smiles at me "don't say that darling, Lando, Liv, Max and your brother will be there for you and it's all gonna be fine." I shake my head but decide to not say anything further knowing it would hurt my mom more if I would say thing like this.

I suddenly remember that Lando probably would be still waiting outside and I look at my mom with a small smile "someone you like is here for me and you" I tell my mom, she looks confused at me because she knew it wouldn't be my brother. He would fly down here Monday and it was now Friday so he couldn't be here already. I walk to the door and open it to reveal a Lando with a small empathy smile, he looks at my mom and he walks towards her, she pulls him into a hug and whispers, thinking I wouldn't hear it, "thank you Lando". He smiled at her "how are you feeling right now?", "well not so good to be honest but when you guys are here I don't feel it as much" we both giggle a bit, I knew my mom only wanted to make us laugh to forget about next week but I knew I could never forget that these moment would be probably the last one with my mom.

A/N

I will be more consistent with uploading, I will try to post at least once a week on the Sunday or Monday. But if you know me a little most of the time I post two or three story's in a week so don't be sad it will be okay!!

Lots of Love XX