Don't Get Even...Get Mad (A Joker Story [Sequel to WDKYSMYS]

6: Helping the Bat (Revised)

I gripped my jacket close to me, scanning my whereabouts. I was in Old Gotham, which was shut down and ratty, but if anyone wanted to mess with me, they'd get a fist to the face.

Something was glowing in the corner of my eye; I turned, seeing it coming off a green, small question mark statue. I walked over, bent down and picked it up.

I flinched when I did, because then it started to speak.

"I see you've found my riddle, Memoria. I've decided to put you up for a test. Are you up for it, or will you finally admit I am the master of mind games?"

I cussed softly when I realized who set this. It was already obvious by the object itself. Edward Nashton, or as we all know him, Edward Nigma: The Riddler.

"Dammit!" I groaned, throwing the trophy to the wall. I remember Batman getting the same riddles. His were green....and so are mine. Something else glimmered, it was coming from the ocean. I walked over and saw the same question mark at the edge of the cliff. I picked it up, a shock surged through me, nearly hurling me into the water. "Ah, ah, ah Memoria. Those aren't for you anymore, find your favorite color and my riddles combined. Silly commoner."

"Well fuck you too, butthead." I muttered, then started walking back home. I was a little more irritated at Nigma than I was at Joker.

I heard something flittering behind me and turned.

"Well if it isn't the Dark Knight himself! Tell me, what brings you here on this fine evening?" I sarcastically questioned, setting my hands on my hips.

"Shut it, Memoria. What are you planning?" Batman's voice was hoarse, but then again, when wasn't it?

I sighed. "Nothing, you can calm down. I'm just not at home because of a little dispute with Ivy that-"

"I'm after Ivy, too. Do you have any samples of the plants she left behind?"

I laughed loudly.

"And what makes you think I'm gonna help someone who constantly tries to foil my plans?"

He growled. "I'll kill you if you don't."

"False, you have that one rule! Thy bat shall not kill thy foes." I sang, then ran my fingers through my hair, smirking.

"I'll hurt Joker."

"Go ahead and try, I'm pretty sure you won't be able to find him. And in plus, I'm mad at him, so you'd be able to. I wouldn't mind." I was half bluffing when I said this, I was really mad at him but I couldn't stand to see him hurt.

"I'll put you in jail."

"I'll break right out."

"I'll put you in Arkham Asylum."

"Honey, I'm allies with villains, go ahead."

"I'll-Wait, I shouldn't be negotiating with you!"

I snickered. I started circling him slowly. "In plus, if you're going to make a deal with me, it might as well be a positive one instead of a threatening one. For instance, if I give you Ivy's plants, you get the police squad off our tails."

Batman's eyes flickered, the lenses on his mask weren't there. I could clearly see his blue eyes.

"I couldn't do that, you deserve to be behind bars."

"But you do realize the police who do find us will be dead, and we'll be sure to kill their families as well. Yes, that includes Jim Gordon and Barbara Gordon as well."

Batman scowled, obviously affected by hearing this. "Fine."

I was shocked that he agreed. This was such a big deal for Joker and I, and to have Batman just agree to let us off the hook, it seemed too good to be true.

"You break your word, and Barbara will pay. Meet me in Old Gotham, where they're doing reconstruction. But not in broad daylight, around where the old toy factory is. Okay?" I smirked, he nodded, pained. "Good bat."

I left to go home to collect the plants. When I did, I didn't even look at Joker. I picked up a duffel bag and put in all of Ivy's dead plants, then went to the spot Batman was supposed to meet me at.

Once I arrived, I set the bag down and sat there, eyes closed. I heard a noise behind me.

"You know, if I wanted to I could have taken you out right there, right?"

"No, because I knew you were there. And you are so predictable, Dark Knight." I stood up, calm eyes locking with his. "You couldn't hurt me even if you tried."

He didn't seem phased by my response, instead he walked over to the bag and picked it up.

"Pleasure doing business with you."

"The pleasure's all mine."

After a moment, he left, leaving me to think.