Don't Get Even...Get Mad (A Joker Story [Sequel to WDKYSMYS]

25:Caught

In the livingroom is where I found my joy, sitting and stretching on the long, new, comfy couch. I held a bag of Doritos in one hand, and a can of Arizona Green Tea in the other, yawning, watching the television. Nothing was on besides Supernatural, which didn’t anger me since it was my favorite television show. Jack was at work, as usual, but today he was working longer than usual. I sighed, reluctantly changing the channel to the news.

“-Live from the center of Gotham, The Joker and Batman slug it out in the middle of the park! Has The Joker finally been caught?”

My body froze, I walked outside and drove over to where he was, lifting myself up to the top of the building. With my mind, I slammed Batman against a tree and knocked him out.

Jack looked dumfounded, everyone did, I hid so he didn’t see me, then went to race him home. I didn’t want him knowing I was out and around that. He would kill me.

I quickly slammed the front door, locking it and ran over to the couch, holding my stomach protectively as I quickly slouched in a lazy position, grabbing the remote and changing it to Supernatural.

After a moment, the front door opened and in came Jack, his makeup off and a suitcase in hand. He had a mew method: go to the warehouse, take off the makeup and put on makeup that would hide his scars, wash the green out of his hair or put a hat on, put on a regular business suit he had in his suitcase and exchange it with his Joker suit, and go home. Our home wasn’t suspected of anything, and only our best henchmen got to live in this house now. Jack didn’t like it when people saw his face.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw him, he was so beautiful. I smiled softly, he gave me a look. I bit my lip.

“What’s wrong, honey?” I asked innocently, putting my hand on my stomach and rubbing it, making sure if he would start screaming at me, he would do it gently because he’d feel bad.

“Last time I checked, Batman didn’t fly.” he spoke, sitting down on the chair.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, honey. Did you have a hard day at work?” I questioned, he sighed, taking the remote from me and pressing the “last” button. It was on the news now.

I bit my lip. “I was just-“

He stood up. “You do realize you could have gotten yourself killed? Or revealed that we’re having a child?” he questioned angrily, running his hand through his hair and setting the other hand on his side. “I can handle myself. I’m a big boy now.”

“But...” I hesitated. “I didn’t want you hurt...I just wanted you to get home safely...”

“You could have been hurt, end of story.” he growled. “You hurt means the baby hurt, which means me troubled, which means Gotham without anarchy. It’s a chain of fucks given.”

“Well, fine.” I muttered. “And when the baby is born?”

“If we have the right people watching it, then go ahead and help, just don’t involve yourself too much, because it’s worse for a child if the mother is gone because you are the milk provider and you have more of a parental instinct.” he sighed, then crossed his arms.

“So in two weeks at least?”

“Babe, it’s been about nine months and two weeks, if what they say is right about ‘babies are born either nine months or ten months’ you’ll probably have it in two weeks or less, but it’s going to be painful to move and I suggest you calm down until the baby is a month old.”

I thought about it. “Well, alright, fine.” I said, then got up and walked to the kitchen.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m hungry, so I’m gonna make some dinner.”

“But didn’t you just eat all of that crap?” he questioned, pointing to all the food on the couch. “What happened to eating healthy?”

“I can’t be naughty just this once?” I questioned, cooking up some chicken and Mac N Cheese.

He snickered, walking in and sitting on the counter, clapping his hands all happily. “Mac N Cheese!” he said happily, smiling. His scars went funny whenever he smiled, but I could see his real smile under the fake one. It was gorgeous. I grinned at him.

“So the baby is going to be a boy. What are the names we may chose?”

“I’m thinking Dean or Adam.” I said, smiling softly.

“Hm....Dean. Dean sounds more...Fun.”

I smirked softly. “How about Dean Adam Napier?”

“That sounds fabulous, my dear.” I smirked softly at his reply.

“So how was your day?” I questioned softly while making sure the food didn’t burn.

“It wasn’t as fun as usual. I blew up a building on the east side of town, chilled in the Carnival in Old Gotham until they lost me, then walked to the center of Gotham since I knew they wouldn’t suspect me being there anymore, then Batman showed up and miraculously thunked into a tree. Everyone thought it was me, but then they realized it wasn’t me from the silly look on my face.”

“How did you play it off?”

“Oh, I said “Thanks, baby!” and ran out. I guess it’s good they knew you helped, because then they don’t suspect the pregnancy. I mean, if they saw you though, that’s a different story. Someone asked me where you were a couple days back in public, I think it was Robin, and what I said was, “My babe is tired, give her a break.” and he left it alone.” he smirked.

“Well, that’s interesting that they’re starting to worry about me.” I chuckled softly. “Even though it’s probably excitement that makes them ask, for if I’m gone, Gotham is 50% less dangerous.”

“You count yourself as a whole 50%?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh.” he shrugged, taking a sip of Coke. “So do I.” he spoke, then cackled.

“You’re lucky I actually like that cackle.” I spoke.

“You’re so right, my dear. I really am.”