Don't Get Even...Get Mad (A Joker Story [Sequel to WDKYSMYS]

23: Gone Again

There are times in our lives where we look back and realize our wrongs, and as much as we want to reverse them, we can't. As much as we like to think we aren't too bad, we really are and we know it. It's something we keep inside of us., and though it may be hard, it's the truth, and what happened, happened. Stuff happens we cannot reverse.

The first time I robbed a bank, I had so much regret inside of me. Who will be affected? Who have I hurt physically during this dangerous expedition? Who would be ashamed to know me?

But, then, afterwards I accepted it, since it's who I am and I should stand by what I have ever done. Shame in myself is something I shouldn't have.

But now, as I look back, I realize, I do have regrets. I regret everything I have done, as of now.

Police officers, psychologists, all after me. And they will not stop until they find me. This is something I cannot bear, since I realize I just can't live this life forever, and I have to quit now that I am expecting a child.

It's been three months since Jack and I got married. We have been careless with our midnight adventures, but I didn't keep in mind the consequences. I was sad at first to know I was carrying something innocent, when I had so much blood on my hands, it was hard to think of myself as motherly.

Jack didn't know yet. I had just found out today, I had gone to the doctor's. At two months along, I felt a little stupid for not knowing, but then again, it was the last thing I expected.

I was scared to tell Jack.

I bit my lip, walking over to his office, scared of his reaction. I hope he won't ask me to abort it. I just couldn't do it. The doctor asked me if I wanted to, and after thinking, I decided against it. It was not the baby's fault that Jack and I were careless. But, if I felt I was too dangerous to carry this child, I would feel that it would be best to abort.

I opened the door slowly, hesitating, I really didn't want to do this, but I had to. If I didn't tell him now, when I have just found out, he will get mad and it will affect his decision.

He looked up with a scowl, sighing, but once he saw it was me, he smiled. "Hello, love." he said softly, standing up from his papers and walking over to me. His eyes were soft and loving, I was afraid of his mood changing drastically.

"I...Uh..." I stammered. I didn't know how to say it.

"What?" he questioned patiently. "Oh, by the way, how did the going to the doctor's work out? What's wrong?"

I bit my lip. "It's about that."

"What's wro-"

"I'm expecting!" I blurted out, his eyes widened from how I put it. Well, damn. I suck at this kind of stuff.

"Expecting what?" he questioned stupidly, it wasn't like him to ask dumb questions like this.

"A child." I sighed, he folded his arms.

"Are you sure?" he sighed, looking away. I nodded, holding his hands in mine.

"The doctor checked. Double checked, even." I sighed. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I'm not ready for a child."

Dammit. I sighed sadly, trying to hold my emotions in. "So you want me to get rid of it?"

"It's your call. Not mine." he said, sitting back down at his paperwork. I sat in the chair in front of his desk.

"You'll get used to it, I promise. It'll be fun."

"Alright." he said, uninterested in what I was saying.

"It'll be fun, we'll paint the room and buy it clothes and have a little family goin' on."

"Mmhmmm."

"And you would see it when you come home from work and it'd smile at you and love you."

"Yeah."

My eye twitched. "You don't have to be a douche."

He sighed. "Look, Aurora. I'm doing work. Can't you see? Go out and buy books, or whatever it is you do."

That really offended me. I threw his papers off his desk, causing him to stand up in anger.

"You little harlot. Those all were organized!" he shouted, growling angrily.

"Well maybe you should have thought of that before being mean to me like you just were!"

"Well I have more important things to worry about!"

"A child is a lot more important than your little chilish games!"

His nostrils flared, lips in a large frown. He looked even more like a demented clown. "It could die for all I fucking care, I need to concentrate on work and only work, now get out. You're useless."

"You know what else I am?"

"I couldn't care less what you are."

"Hmmm just guess."

He sighed deeply, then crossed his arms. "What are you?"

"Gone." I seethed, running to my room, packing my things and running out of the house. I didn't look back. Not even once.