Don't Get Even...Get Mad (A Joker Story [Sequel to WDKYSMYS]

26: A Sweet Addition

"Jack, you bitch ass motherfucker, if you don't answer this message you can damn well believe the rest of your life will be sex-less!" I growled into the phone as the nurse at the hospital gave me a bewildered look, I gave her the evil eye while clutching onto my stomach, letting out a scream as a contraction wracked through my body. "If this baby is born without you by my side you can damn well expect to be dead by next week!!!" I hung up, throwing my phone to the ground roughly. It's alright, I have a Droid, they're indestructible.

"Alright, look like the baby will be coming any minute now." the doctor spoke up, walking over and preparing, sitting in front of me. I sighed.

"Well, my fucking husba-" before I could finish my sentence, Jack was in the room, hair blonde and a mess, regular makeup on to cover his scars, dressed in a regular shirt and jeans. It was weird, seeing him so normal looking.

"Excuse me sir, you can't be here-" the offended nurse started to talk, Jack turned to her with an evil expression.

"That is my wife, and that is my baby." he huffed, out of breath, then ran over. I pulled him by his collar and whispered in his ear.

"Where in the fucking hell were you?" he sighed and leaned in to my ear to reply.

"I was in the city next to us and I had my henchmen drive here while I put on my makeup, I shit you not, I just jumped out of the van and burst through the doors of the hospital, and ran to this room." he collapsed in the chair next to me after quietly explaining himself, holding my hand.

"You don't want to see Dean come out?"

He looked at me, bewildered. "Trust me, childbirth is a wondrous thing, I just don't want to see my wife's "area" being stretched by a bloody, quivering baby."

I completely understood his comment. A lot of men who witness childbirth stop finding sex pleasing, and marriages get messed up because of it. I held his hand tight, kissing his cheek.

After the baby came out, I was shaking, sweating, tired, but Jack was really good, calm, gently leading me through the birth, and when the baby came out, he cut the chord. The doctors cleaned up the little guy, and handed him to Jack. He smiled softly, holding the baby close, then placed it in my arms. I looked at him and frowned.

"Hm." I said softly.

"What's wrong?" he questioned, concerned, sitting next to me, gently stroking the baby's cheek.

"I don't think he looks like a Dean....He looks more like a, uhm...." I thought for a moment, then the perfect name came to my head. I grinned. "More like a Kaleb. Kaleb Dean Napier."

He grinned. "Beautiful."

I breast fed the baby and watched as his beautiful eyes opened, peering around at the room curiously, locking eyes with me, then Jack.

"He is so cute." I said softly, Jack smiled, kissing my cheek.

"This is really awesome." he said softly, then took out his phone, snapping a picture of Kaleb, then a picture of me holding Kaleb. I laughed softly. He stared at his phone for a moment. "I have like, 20 voicemails."

I laughed apologetically. "Sorry babe, they're all from me."

He scowled at me jokingly, then listened to all of them. He had the look of pure shock, then started to laugh. "Wow, I guess a pregnant wife is really the scariest thing is the world. Hm, I like the insults you used, I should use them to the Bat."

"Call him a pregnant woman in labor." I shrugged. "He'd be like, 'why are you calling me that?' and you'd be like, 'because you're an unreasonable hormonal bitch'." I was at least admitting I was scary during childbirth, but which woman isn't? They want it to go perfectly, and they don't want to be alone when they have a baby. It's a scary experience.

He snickered. "May I hold him?" he asked softly, I nodded and he picked Kaleb up, and sighed. "Wow, he is so cute."

I smiled, then yawned, feeling the exhaustion come over me. "This is the most work I've done in the last couple of months."

"Sleep." he smiled, I nodded tiredly, and fell into a deep sleep.

When I woke up, there was a vase of flowers next to me and a plate of cookies next to it. I sat up, looking around the room.

Jack was in the corner of the room, holding Kaleb close, looking at him with soft eyes and a genuine smile. Though I could barely see the scars, they made a difference when he smiled, made his smile unique. It made me smile, too.

"So who are the presents from?" I questioned, he looked over and chuckled, looking at the closed door. Probably making sure no one outside heard.

"The flowers are from Mister Freeze and the cookies are from The Ventriloquist."

I raised my eyebrow. "The Ventriloquist?"

He shrugged. "One of his puppets told him to make you cookies, he said."

I chuckled. "He's a nice man...Too bad he is a little...Off." I picked up one of the cookies and started to eat it, it was pretty good. I smiled. "These are great. Have one."

He hesitated. "In a minute", he said, and then went back to looking at Kaleb, gently rocking him back and forth. I grinned softly.

"Take your time, sweetheart."