Candor or Dauntless -7 Days of Truth or Dare

Chapter 20

Tris' POV

"I remember... I remember all the crap he put me through."

Right now, more than anything, I crave for my emotions to shut down just like what happened a few hours prior. I feel like I have been sat here for hours just letting my brain run wild, messing with my feelings. Everything that previously drifted off in to sweet nothing is flooding back, only this time I can't pin an emotion to an event or person... They are just there devouring my brain, powered by the heart that pumps my blood.

"Tris?" Eric says placing a hand on my back. I don't show any sign of acknowledgement, I cant because I don't know how to feel about the simple gesture. "Tris, please say something because you are scaring me now..." He trails off before kneeling down in front of me. His eyes which normally would captivate you stare into mine, I look straight through them. "Tris you need to say something, anything, let me know you are still there." He pleads taking my hands in his.

"I'm so confused Eric." I mumble before a soft stream of tears cascades down my face. Why do I cry so much?

"It's okay Tris." He coos gently trying to dry my cheeks. Who could of thought that Eric could ever be so gentle? I did. "What's wrong Tris?" He tentatively asks cupping my face in his large hands.

"Why does like suck?" I ask unsure if he will be able to answer.

"Well... The way I see it is, how would you be able to tell if something makes you feel happy if you can't compare it to something sad. If everything was always just great, then how would you tell when something was more than great? What if something was spectacular?" He explains not once letting his eyes leave my gaze.

"But nothing is ever 'spectacular'." I croak trying to stifle more tears.

"You just need to wait for your 'spectacular' moment Tris..." He trails off stroking my jaw lightly. "It will come, you just need to wait for it." Eric finishes with a reassuring smile.

We sit in the same position in comfortable silence for a while until he breaks the silence. "Come on, let's go back to Zeke's and see if being around friends will tie memories to the emotions." I force a smile and slowly stand. My legs turn to jelly as I take my first step so Eric reaches out to support me.

"Thank you." I say as he releases his hands from my waist.

It takes a while to get back to the apartment because my walk is more like a shuffle. We walk in silence the whole way there and I enjoy it because then I have one less thing to think about.

Eric knocks on the door gently before opening to reveal everyone sat on the floor with mugs of coffee in their hands. I look around forcing a smile as I scan their faces. I remember every single thing I have done with everyone of them and every thought I have had about each individual but I can't tie an emotion to anything. That is until I see him, when I see Tobias I immediately find and pin point emotions I relate to his face...

Fear.

Anger.

Hurt.

Love.

I know that I am dating him but I have no clue why. At this moment in time I would give anything just to get away from him. But my wish is not granted. The world is not a wish granting factory because Eric is gently leading me over to Tobias.

"Go gentle with her." Eric says placing my hand in Tobias'.  "She is a little confused about how to deal with actions but I told her everything that she needs to know." He says in a hushed tone and Tobias nods. "I'm still not sorry for being in love with your girlfriend, but I am sorry for causing such a mess." Eric finishes and releases my hand. The only person now holding me is Tobias and it terrifies me.

Tobias gently tugs on my wrist encouraging me to sit down besides him and I do hesitantly.  He then proceeds to wrap his arm around my shoulders and pull me into his side. "I love you Tris." He mumbles in to my hair and gently kisses my fore head. It takes everything I have to stop myself from cowering away from him but I can't because even though the embrace is gentle, he still holds me tight.

He kisses my temple and I can't help it anymore. I get up and free myself from his grip. "I, I need to go." My voice shakes as I slowly edge backwards away from Tobias before leaving the apartment.

How can I be so terified of someone that I love?

Eric's POV

'I'm still not sorry for being in love with your girlfriend.' That comment plays on repeat in my head because it is true. For the first time ever I actually love someone so why should I be sorry? Because she is already taken? Because her boyfriend could snap my neck in a heartbeat?

I sit and watch Four pull Tris down to sit by him but something seems wrong. Not 'wrong' because I'm jealous, but 'wrong' because Tris looks terified. What's wrong? The next thing I know she is running out of the apartment and Four looks confused as hell. He better not have done anything to her.

I won't lie, when she called me her 'boyfriend' after she woke up I was ecstatic. But I knew she was just confused. As much as I love Tris, and that night at the bar was amazing, I know that she could never truly be mine... She is so brave, smart and selfless and then I am just, well me.

Everyone sits in silence registering what just happened. I need to go find her. I don't care if she wants to be alone at the moment because one thing is for sure... Tris needs help.

I find myself running through the corridors franticly searching for her when something catches my eye. A young woman is standing on the wrong side of the railing at the chasm. Tris. My legs carry me as fast as possible to the girl as I scream her name. "Tris! Don't do anything stupid Tris!" She ignores my voice even though I know she can hear my shouting, people all the way in Amity could probably hear me scream.

She looks up at me as I near the bridge, her face stained with tears. "I'm sorry Eric." She says before adjusting her grip on the railing so all that is holding her on is a few fingers.

Slowly, I slowly walk towards her and talk in a calmer voice than before so as not to frighten her. "Tris, please just get back on the safe side. Just climb back over the railing." I edge forward holding out my hand but she just shakes her head."Tris, come on, you know that this isn't the answer."

"Then what is?" She snaps releasing one hand and throwing it in the air. Only one arm is stopping her from falling now.

I am close enough to reach out and grab her quickly so that is what I do. In one swift motion I have yanked Tris back over the railing and sunk to the floor with  her in my lap. She burries her head in my shirt and starts to cry. "Shush, it's okay Tris. You're safe now." I coo and stroke her hair as the distraught girl soaks my shirt with tears but I don't mind. I like being able to hold her this close. For once in my life I feel like I might actually helping someone.

"Thank you." Tris whispers into my shirt. She is near impossible to hear over the noise of the chasm but I still hear her.

"Anytime." I smile and continue to hold her.

We stay sat on the bridge for ages until she can cry no more.By now my shirt is drenched and her eyes are bloodshot. "Do you feel any better now?" I ask as Tris slowly stands.

"I'm so scared Eric." She replies shivering. Whatever happened to the brave first jumper I first met? Who would have ever thought she could be like this?

"Then... Be brave, Tris." Is all I can say.

A/N

Hello you wonderful people who take your time to read this story! Can you believe I have written 20 chapters?! It's crazy!

As always, I don't own Divergent or any of it's characters.

P.S. Please don't kill me for giving 'be brave, Tris' to Eric instead of Tobias.