✅When A Bad Boy Fell In Love (Fanfiction) Wattys2021✅

Chapter 19: Will You Hug Me Agin?

* There were always a time that I still missed you, though I wonder if it's real or I am just deceiving by my imagination because of guilt.*

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It took hours before finally Lee Hi stopped crying, though her heart still feel the sharp pain in her chest. She still can't believe that her mother is dead.

"If you still want to cry you, I will not stop you. As they say crying is the remedy for a broken soul. It's not okay to lose someone you dearly loved, but it's okay to cry. Just make sure after you cry you still find the reason to move forward without that someone whom you cherished the most. That someone whom you thought that will be with you every moment of your life."

"Will I be able to move forward?" Lee Hi said, just staring at nothingness. She wanted to shed more tears but her eyes couldn't anymore. Her puffy eyes is really obvious. Her nose is like rudolf's the deer, it's red. From staring at the empty door of the operating room she shifted her gaze to Hanbin. He was already staring at her and in his eyes she saw sympathy in there. In his eyes she saw her reflection, a lonely and lost girl trying to find her way back home,..but she couldn't. Not because she didn't know the direction of her home...but because she's not sure if she can still call her home..home. Or if someone still waiting for her to be home.

"I know how it feels losing someone important to you. I know it's hard to move on, Lee Hi. It's never been easy, I've been there... but you have to try. You must get used to the pain. You must get used to the loneliness, that's the only time you'll be able to continue living."

Comforting while holding a girl's hand gently isn't Hanbin's thing. That isn't him. He only know how to hold a woman's hand if he's taking them from behind. Specially not comforting them, he doesn't even do cuddle. After giving the satisfaction he needs he'll just command them to get out of his sight. But Lee Hi is different from those women he bedded. The girl infront of him is his sane, his angel, his savior. If she got lost, he'll be lost too.

"How can I live without thinking the pain, B.I?" If it's a different scenario she'll probably laugh for asking him a question like that, but she lost her mother today. The pain of losing her will forever be tainted in her heart.

"Make yourself busy."

"Hmmm."

"Do the feeding program, Lee Hi. Accept my proposal. Continue to live even if you don't want anymore. Get use to the pain. Continue the plan you've promised to your mother even if she's not there with you anymore to fulfill it."

"Why are you so kind to me, B.I?"

"Because I am the only one you have now. I'll be with you every step of the way. Even if it takes time for you to heal, I'll be with yo."

"Will you hug me again? I feel so co—" She's not even done speaking but Hanbin already pulled her into a tight hug. "—ld. I feel so empty."

"Please, don't hesitate to ask me again to hug you, whenever you feel cold and alone. Don't hesitate to ask me anything because I will do everything for you."

Tears started to roll down her cheeks again. "I p-promise. Thank you, B.I"

Lee Hi didn't know how she survived the three days while just looking at her mother's urn and picture. The funeral took only three days..and on that three days Lee Hi is either crying or staring at nothingness. But Hanbin didn't leave her, not minding the people gossiping about his relationship with Lee Hi.

Until the last moment, Lee Hi keep on saying the word mother. Her eyes couldn't produce any more tears but her heart is. It's crying and drowning with her own tears. The first night is a struggle for her. Because she knew that she's really alone. Her mother isn't in the hospital anymore...and not even in the funeral hall. And that thought alone put her into endless tears again. She'll just let her eyes rest when they got tired but once it's okay again, then she'll cry again and again. The tears were endless the same with the pain she's feeling.