What's a Riddle?

Roxanne

| Warning: This chapter has mentions of suicide, and child neglect. If you're sensitive to any of these topics. Either read with caution, or go to the next chapter. You could also find another book to read. It's not my intention to trigger anyone in anyway. |

     Fred always made me feel safe, and secure. He was like a big brother to me since I'm two months older than Harry. I always tried to make sure Harry was happy, and that he wasn't stressed about my problems. So the day he saw me hurting myself I felt a new world of pain. Because I knew he couldn't stop me from doing it. But I knew he wouldn't be the same seeing me like that. I never told him, but after he caught me. I didn't stop doing it. I just made sure he wouldn't catch me again. Only Pansy, Luna, and Fred know I didn't stop. But what the rest of them don't know is I actually have stopped. I can't remember the last time I did hurt myself.
Once I got downstairs with Fred, I heard someone coming. And I smelled something being made. Harry came out from the kitchen holding everyone's wands. "What's going on?" I asked "Someone's here." Harry replied. He tossed me my wand, and everyone came out grabbing their wands. All of a sudden someone came from behind a post; it was Sirius. Everyone let out a relieved sigh, and put their wands down. "Sorry. We thought it was someone who wasn't invited." George said. "Don't worry about it guys. I'm so glad to see you." Sirius said. He walked up to the others, and shook their hands. When he turned to Harry he brought him into a hug with a huge smile on his face. "I've missed you so much." Harry said. "I've missed you too kiddo." He stopped hugging Harry, and turned to me. I just stared at him, and he gave me a silent nod. Which is his way of saying hello to me. "I smell good food being made. Why don't we go in the kitchen and enjoy ourselves?" "We we're about to go. But then we heard something which is you." Hermione said. "Well now that I'm here we can enjoy our dinner." Everyone agreed, and walked over to the dining room. I followed behind, and saw Mrs. Weasly filling multiple plates with food. She seemed particularly happy to see everyone, and I couldn't figure out why. But I knew I would find out soon.
    Once we sat down and started to eat, I could hear Harry burning Remus with questions. "What do you know so far?" "Harry, for us to possibly know what is even happening with you know who. We would have to pull as many strings as we can. And unfortunately we don't have many strings when it comes to him. The people you're seeing at the table are most of the strings to help you find him. But the rest were trying to convince." Remus says. "Although you need to know Harry, giving them time will help them decide to help us. Well.. technically you." Sirius speaks. "How long will that take?" Harry asked. "You know what Harry." Sirius says. He puts his spoon down, and looks Harry in the eyes. The entire table pauses for a moment focusing on Sirius's numb stare. "Why don't we get a few more bites of food, and I want to take you somewhere special. You can ask me any question you'd like." Sirius says. Everyone had this relived look, and went back to their food except me. I saw Harry's face light up with a smile. So maybe I am a little jealous, but I couldn't help myself. "Dad, can I come with you? I have many questions as well." Sirius looked at me with his regular look, and let out a sigh. As if he was trying to say something, but he was trying to find a good way to say it. "Maybe another time Roxanne." "You said that last time." "Roxanne, I don't have to explain anything to you. I'm sure you can figure it out on your own." Just like I expected. Makes sure Harry is always by his side, while I'm behind them watching in envy.
I could tell everyone expected me to cry, and break down in front of my father. But I learned to stop shedding tears for him a long time ago. It will always be the same with him and I. So why cry over something that will happen over, and over again? The answer is..there is no answer except you don't cry over the same thing over and over again. And if you do, it shows how much your desperate for that thing to change. So you put yourself through pain in order to hope it makes you feel better. But it never does because it won't change.
I saw Harry, and Sirius grab their coats, and head out the door without speaking. Everyone at the dinner table was trying their best to not ask me if I was okay. So they just continued to eat in silence. The silence slowly pissed me off, and I needed some space at the same time. I grabbed my dishes, and put them in the sink hearing the utensils clatter against the bowl. I walked up to my room still hearing silence, but I could feel their emotions. I could tell they felt pity for me, and my whole situation with my father. I wasn't mad at them for feeling pity, I feel that everyone would feel pity. Or some kind of sadness for me. Even if they tried to use it against me. I just wish they would stop feeling it ever second of the day when I enter the room. They don't have to shed their pity on me. I know they have it, and I don't need to sense it every time I'm near them.