The Princess and I

Chapter XX: Discovering one another

For the first time in my life I get a hint of what heartbreak feels like. I know Liam didn't really leave me, but still it feels this way a bit. He has left, because he thinks I am secretly in love with someone else. And from the moment he left Castle Le Bon, I don't feel like doing anything, except waiting for Liam to return to me. I want to show him nothing will change, because of his departure. I will still be Elizabeth Le Bon, who has fallen in love with Duke Arlington and will soon be his wife: the Duchess Arlington.

I don't feel like eating, drinking or leaving my bed for that matter, but at the same time I am scared he will leave for a second time when he discovers I have been laying in my bed the whole time that he was gone. I almost hear him say: 'But now you still haven't discovered what the world has to offer you, Elizabeth. I must take my leave once more, so it seems.'

I shudder at the thought. No, I will not give him any reason to leave me again. When he returns I will have done as he told me to. I will have lived my life as if he was there with me the whole time. Only then will he see I love him and that nothing in the whole wide world can change that. Perhaps then he finally will take me as his wife.

So, reluctantly I rise and get dressed. Luckily, I have a busy day ahead of me. This evening we have another ball just outside London at the Cavendishes to amuse myself with. I will dance and have a good time, even if he is not there to dance with me.

I put on my finest dress, since we are first attending an opera at the English Opera House, where we will attend an opera called Blanche of Jersey. In 1834 the Theatre Royal Lyceum with its frontage on Wellington Street had opened its doors to the public. The theatre was designed by Samuel Beazley, who made his building unique with a balcony overhanging the dress circle. I have visited the opera many times before and I know the beautiful singing and play will keep my mind from thinking about Liam too much.

We ride to the English Opera House and father keeps asking me why Liam left all of a sudden. He does not seem to buy the reasons Liam gave him, but I keep telling this lie to him also. My mother is just exhilarated. 'A ring from Ipswich. Isn't that romantic?'

'It is,' I say dismally. 'But I was happy enough with a London ring if that would have kept him near.'

'I think it shows how much he cares for you to travel around the world for the perfect engagement ring, doesn't it, dear?'

My father just mumbles his agreement, while staring pensively out of the window. I am most glad, when we arrive at Wellington Street. My father takes out our tickets and we are guided to our reserved seats. I am sitting next to Naomi, who for once left her diary at home. We both love to come here, so we chat excitedly about the upcoming play, while my parents exchange pleasantries with other nobility.

In the corner of my eye I see that aunt Emma and Christina are seated on the balcony. They talk with each other animatedly, but exchange pleasantries shortly with the people who are sitting next to them. Suddenly our eyes meet and Christina looks at me apologetically. I know what she tries to transfer: I am sorry Liam has left. I smile sorrowfully, but I shake my head: it's not your fault. She lays her hand over her heart as if in a relieved gesture, but then someone demands her attention once more.

Naomi has watched our wordless exchange in silence. 'I am sorry, Elizabeth,' she says suddenly.

I raise an eyebrow. 'For what?'

'I guess I am at a fault here, since what I said the other day triggered your fight and made Liam leave in the end.' She shuffles her feet awkwardly and lowers her eyes ashamed.