The Princess and I

Chapter XXXIX: Midnight romancing

The next morning when I wake up I feel like I have a hangover, but since I had almost nothing to drink I can't blame it on the alcohol this time. I still have a bitter aftertaste in my mouth though from Diana Mornington's venomous words which resulted in Eleanor leaving the city. I know what injustice feels like and I can't help but feel wronged as well. I was powerless to help a friend out, while the real villain in this story got away with everything. It's not right, but I will make her pay one day. I swear to God I will.

And then there's Eleanor's departing advice, which I cannot get out of my head. Fight for your love, Elizabeth, because when you don't and you let them take her from you, you will soon discover life's no longer worth living. It's good advice and something I have known for a couple of weeks now as well, though I hate to admit it secretly. I hate sneaking around with Christina and I abhor lying more and more every day to my dear ones. It's not right to my family, who still think I will marry off with the Duke by which their future is also secured. My parents deserve better, since they have made me into this respectable woman I am today.

Besides, this situation is not right for Liam either, since he has automatically and willingly become my excuse to get together with his sister. He deserves better than this though. He deserves to be with someone, who returns the love he has to give. But moreover, it is not right for Christina. I know how strongly she feels for me and it is not right to hide those feelings away, until we can get some spare, short minutes of privacy. I cannot live as a thief in the night and neither can she. She's too valuable and I love her too damn much.

We cannot be together in London. That's not an option. If we had still some hidden hope that we could work it out among our friends and family, this hope has left us after we have learned the truth about Eleanor's true love Cassandra. I know my parents would never harm a hair on Christina's head, but still we would be disgraced and banished from society as an average criminal. I want to be ahead of their game and keep the honour to myself. I choose love and nothing will stop me from chasing that. Therefore, there's only one option left.

We spoke of it yesterday in the heat of the moment, but still I cannot get it out of my head. Runaway with Christina... I think I really would leave with her. And I really think it is the best way for us to be together. I don't know how she feels about this, but I will soon ask her. I know for sure that we are both haunted by always sneaking around and all of the lies we told to be together. We cannot continue this way and we should not either. We deserve to be happy. And therefore, we must leave. Leave all of this, the comforts, the luxury with the associated standards and behaviour behind and start anew.

I watch Alice scurry about the room to collect the proper dress for today's events. I would miss her for sure. She's been the finest housemaid one could ever wish for and she has become a really good friend. I would miss Mrs. Green as well. She's done so much for my family. I could never repay her, since it cost her her husband and I cannot get him back from the dead nor can I turn back time. If it wasn't for the Greens I would not have lived to find true love, so me being in love and so extremely happy was in a way thanks to them. I have to consider that, when I am gone. I cannot leave them behind empty handed.

While Alice dresses me and does my hair, she speaks of the fact that Liam once more is a free man, a desirable bachelor now Eleanor has left the room to me. I smile deadpan, while I imagine my parent's reaction after I would have run away. They will freak out at first for sure. Their oldest daughter gone. Their daughter, of whom they had high hopes, who would have left with a woman, they invited in their house as one of their own. They would be ashamed for sure and society would rumour for a long time for sure, but would they be ruined in the end? I guess as long as they would denounce me as their daughter they would be fine after a while. Nicholas married well off and Naomi will find a suitable man for sure. And Elias will find a loving wife as well, since he is a dear after all. He will get over Christina in the end. Of that I am sure. They would after a while forget about me, the daughter who almost ruined the entire family.