The Princess and I

Chapter XXXVIII: The Grand Duchess leaves town

Under the polar bear skin, which Christina brought from the Temple of Diana, we lie in each other arms, enjoying the cloudless sky and each other's company vehemently. At her request I told her about Eleanor's sad past. Although I think Eleanor didn't want anybody to know what hurt her, I guess she would not mind when Christina knew it. At least she never forbade me to tell her and I was not about to lie to my love.

When I am finished, Christina is speechless. Frowning she absently tickles my bare shoulder and then says: 'That is really horrible. How could a parent..?' She shivers and pulls me closer to her. 'And she is sure Cassandra is dead?'

'No she is not. But she's done a bit of research herself and all clues point in that direction. She's just gone. No one has seen anything. No one knows. Eleanor was never able to solve the mystery.'

'And that while she has all the wealth and means to do so.'

'Yes, but the problem is that her adversary had access to the same things.'

'I can't imagine what she must have gone through. I can't even think about losing you that way.'

I caress her trembling body and say in an attempt at joking: 'Luckily, aunt Emma is quite fond of me and Liam is as well. So, I have nothing to fear.'

She does not smile, instead her face darkens even more. 'Would your parents..?'

'Kill you, when they found out?' I almost laugh at that thought. 'They would not be too happy, I figure. But they would not harm you. I sincerely believe that.'

'But what would they do?'

I sigh. 'For one, I would be banished from the grounds. All titles would be removed. They would never want to see me again, only at an exorcist to get rid of the demon inside of me. I would not have a single penny, but at least they would not harm you.'

'Is it all worth it?'

I lean on my elbows and look at her sternly. 'Never say something like that again. Do you hear me? You definitely are worth all of the risks and I would rather lose everything than lose you. Without money and titles I can live, but I will not survive without you anymore.' Only the thought of losing her takes my breath awake and creates a bubble of panic in my stomach.

'So, when it comes down to that, would you leave this life behind and run away with me?'

I think about it for a while. The two of us alone in a place we don't know. With no money to build us a home. With no money to buy food from. With no experience or knowledge to get a proper job. No family around us to ask for help. No friends to talk to. Could I live like that?

Suddenly my fears were driven away by the thought of having Christina with me every second of my life. After a hard day's work coming home to her loving and waiting arms. No more hiding who we were. Showing her to the world as my love in a place, where we would not be judged or condemned. If such a place could exist, then I would love to live there with her. I hear her words like they were drops of water falling in my bone-dry mouth. For the first time since we've been in this relationship, I catch a glimpse of a real future with her. A future, which is so temptingly perfect, I am almost prepared to gather my things and leave right now.

'I would, my beloved. Without a single doubt I would follow you anywhere.'

This brings tears in her eyes of joy and I smile warmly, before kissing her ardently. She stops at the right time, before I lose all my reservations and control. And for a moment I envy her for that. I know she only respects my wishes, but I wish she would have proceeded since I would not have been able to resist her tonight. And secretly I would not have minded either. It just feels so good to surrender myself to her. All of me...