The Princess and I

Chapter XXIX: The violent death of the Duke and Duchess

We abruptly let go and I see over Christina's shoulder that Liam has discovered our secret at last. I see his anger, sadness and disappointment fight for precedence, while he looks at us disgusted. 'All this time,' he mutters. 'It was right in front of me, but I could not see. Or perhaps I did not want to see.' He keeps holding the door tightly and his knuckles stand out white against the wood.

I don't know what to say to him, except: 'Liam, I am... We are terribly sorry you had to see that. I wanted to tell you after dinner. You weren't meant to find it out this way.'

He looks at me unbelievingly. 'You wanted to tell me just now? I was about to propose to you! Why didn't you tell me this sooner?'

'There was no sooner, since you were away, brother,' Christina comes to my rescue gallantly, since I could only produce stammering sounds. 'We only discovered the truth for ourselves at my birthday party.'

'The truth? The truth is that you have always been in love with one another.'

'I desperately shake my head. 'No, Liam. When you were courting me, I fell in love with you. I really did.' He snorts unbelievingly. 'But Christina,' I look at her fondly, 'I fancied more and more as well. And at first I was too terrified to accept the truth, so I kept pushing her away. But luckily, your sister is headstrong and never gave up on me.'

She looks at me just as fondly and Liam takes a stammering step back as if we had hit him in the face. 'Stop it!' he cries out. 'Don't make me witness this. It's even worse to see this, because I really cannot blame you at all. It is so clear that you love one another. It's unbearable. I thought I could have it all for once, but it seems you bested me again, sister.'

'This is not a contest, Liam. I never wanted to beat you in anything. I really couldn't help falling in love with the one you were courting. You know I tried to conceal it and bury it, but I refuse to do that again. Not even for your sake. Elizabeth has fallen in love with me and therefore, I will fight for our love.'

He shakes his head incredulously. 'This can't be happening. It feels like I am caught in one of my nightmares.' He looks at us furiously. 'And the worst part is knowing that I put you up to this. I wanted to give you the chance at real love, Christina. I really did, but I never imagined Elizabeth would not resist your advances. I wanted to show you that she loved me instead of you, but I guess I was wrong. It was all a lie.'

'It wasn't, Liam,' I say desperately and I walk towards him, which makes him stammer back a couple of steps more. The repulsive look he throws at me hurts even more than his words. 'I really cared for you,' I say miserably. 'I still do. You are a great man and I love all that you were willing to change, because of me. But I'm guessing it's not enough to continue our courtship.'

'After all I've done for you... After all I've given up on being with you... It still isn't enough for you to choose me?'

'I am not enough for you. You deserve someone better.'

'I really thought you were that woman.' He looks at me questioningly as if he's begging me to change my mind. I swallow back my tears. 'You care for me, you say? Isn't that enough to forget about it all and marry me? I swear I will make you happy, Elizabeth. There's nothing I would not do for you. I am willing to sacrifice anything or anyone to have you in my life.'

'I am not though.'

These harsh words finally register and I see the strength leaving his body. When I thought he had looked forlorn on the day Christina had run away, I was wrong. The look he gave us now...That was desperation at his strongest. My heart aches for him and I hold out my hand to him to offer him any kind of solace I could still give him. He mumbles a curse silently and then turns around stalking off with hanging shoulders. I want to go after him, but Christina keeps a firm grasp on my wrist. 'Don't,' she says curtly.