The Princess and I

Chapter XXXVI: It's my birthday

Christina and I are reluctant to return to the rest of the spectators after our confrontation with the Grand Duchess out of fear she would have blabbered our big secret to the public due to her drunkenness or due to her I-do-not-care-what-others-think attitude. We try to act normal, when we join the other women but nobody gives us a second glance, except for my sister perhaps. But then again: she is more perspective than others.

We rejoin the group as if nothing has happened, but all the while I stay nervous anyway. I don't see Eleanor anywhere anymore, but I fear that she will come back and that she will release our relationship to the world. And although Christina is a wonderful actress, I know her well enough to see that her mind is not with her surroundings at all. But as long as Eleanor is no longer here, she can hardly sell us out.

We pass the day without further complications. We have an ample dinner party, since Liam's team has won the match. And although he seems a bit mauled that the Queen's niece is not here to congratulate him, Liam throws a merry feast, which we all quite enjoy. After the men have a few drinks in the study room, while the women continue talking in the drawing room, I must return home with my family, since tomorrow is my birthday party.

Christina manages to take me away from the group and says softly: 'Enjoy tomorrow, love. You deserve all that's coming to you.'

'Will you still not come?'

Christina lowers her eyes sadly. 'I really wish I could, but my side hurts too much still. I can't partake in any festivities and I know you: you would worry your pretty little head off.' She blinks. 'And I don't want that on your birthday. I want you to have fun.'

'I cannot have fun without you, since I would be busy missing you too much.'

I can see the yearning in her eyes, but since we are not alone she only strokes a few hairs behind my ear. Her hand lingers there for a while, while I push my head against those gentle fingers. 'Think of it this way. As long as I stay away from any exciting event, which can drain my strength, I will recover swiftly. And when I recover swiftly, we will be able to go back to our safe haven pretty soon.'

'That's true, I guess.' I know I must look like an insolent little brat, who does not get what she wants, but I still feel like pouting anyway. 'But I will still miss you, Christina. My birthday won't be complete without you.'

'Elizabeth, are you coming?' Naomi has walked towards us and she gestures to the door. 'Our carriage has arrived.'

We embrace and Christina whispers for my ears only: 'Look at the locket, love, if you miss me.' We disengage and she smiles a smile which does not quite reach her eyes. 'Happy birthday in advance.'

As we walk to our hackney, the Grand Duchess just falls out of hers. She's even more hammered than last time I saw her and she hangs around her coachman's neck, who looks at her with a mixture of compassion and revulsion.

'The world spun around there a bit, Levi.'

'That's no problem, Your Grace.' He puts her back on her feet again, but keeps a hand on her lower back since she's swaying vigorously. Then she notices me and she asks, slurring her words: 'Lady Le Bon, you are not leaving yet, are you?'

'I fear I must.' My father looks at our exchange suspiciously and I see in his brown eyes he does not like seeing his oldest daughter associating with the degenerate Grand Duchess, which insults me deeply. It seems my father has his own prejudiced opinion of her, like the rest of society. But I am not willing to follow the crowd in this supinely. To my own big surprise I say: 'Tomorrow is my birthday, you see. We are throwing a big ball, because of it. Say, would you like to attend?'