The Princess and I

Chapter XLVI: The night is dark and full of terrors

Naomi is getting worse every day and nobody knows how to improve her condition. Doctor Mason has listened to her heart and her lungs and has told us he fears my sister has pneumonia. I always associated pneumonia with children, since many victims of the illness died before they were five years old. Doctor Mason told us though that adults are not immune either, but – since their immune system is a lot better- they are more likely to survive. My parents believe the professional opinion of the doctor, but I can't help but feeling unnerved. I don't want to be the party crasher, but "are more likely" is not the same for me as "will definitely survive", so I am still scared to death that Naomi will not recover from this.

All day long I hear her agonizing coughs, which grow louder every day. And every day they happen more often as well. Sometimes they last so long, I fear she will suffocate in them. I can see how much such a coughing fit hurts Naomi, when her body is once more convulsing in her coughing fit. The first couple of times I cried out in fear she would die, but she coughs so often nowadays that neither doctor Mason nor my parents run upstairs anymore to see if Naomi was all right. The only one who got scared every time again, was I.

Very soon I see the first specks of blood on her handkerchiefs, so freaking out I immediately call for the doctor again. Doctor Mason says it is a typical sign of pneumonia though and we don't have to worry. When his potions kick in, the bleeding will surely stop. And since Naomi doesn't want to worry us too much, she hides away her filthy handkerchiefs the best that she can. During one of her many hours of sleep, I carefully look in her waste bin, which she hides underneath her bed and my worst fear comes through. The bleeding isn't stopping, but worsening. Where there were first specks of blood, I can see big red stains on the white handkerchiefs clearly now. After I notify the doctor he immediately prescribes a stronger potion for my sister.

A second thing about her condition that worries me is her high fever. Her fever never ceases and every time I wet her head with a towel, she is burning, like she is already standing before the gates of Hell. She's hardly awake anymore; her eyes open at most two hours a day. The rest of the day, she's sleeping and although the doctor says rest is good for her recovery, I worry deeply. The fear that she will not wake up the next time she closes her eyes, grows every minute of every day. Next to that, her dreams are far from soothing. She mumbles more often than not in her sleep and even when she's awake she sometimes stares as if she's seeing things, which aren't there at all.

Besides, I can see the difficulty she has with breathing. And the spare moments Naomi is awake, she tells me all the time her chest aches continually and the pain does not subside anymore. Even her skin is becoming an ash-grey coloured tint and the last couple of days it is slowly turning into an unhealthy blue colour. The medicines and potions the doctor prescribes are not doing a thing and I cannot help but wonder: will Naomi be all right again? How long does it take for a case of pneumonia to get better?

I never end my watch though. I am constantly at my sister's side taking care of her. I do everything to cool down her fever by washing her skin with an ice cold towel; by giving her enough to drink, so she will not dehydrate and by wrapping her in many blankets, so she will sweat out her fever.

I talk to her all the time in the hope of a response. I tell her the newest gossip, tell her about the constant presence of Liam and Christina at her bedside and ask her to fight, to overcome the pneumonia and to forgive me for the misery I have caused her to save my own hide. I read to her the favourite passages of her books; I read my Jane Austen's novel aloud and I even read to her from her own notebook.

When reading makes no difference, I even sing to her and play the piano, since it is said music has the ability to heal. I sing some children's rhymes and some well known songs from our time in France. I even sing Christina's lullaby to her, but it all makes no difference whatsoever.