Hidden Motives

Back "Home"

After the rough conversation with the headmaster, Max and I headed back to the car. I wasn't in the mood to talk and Max recognized this.

"I'm sorry Zara" Max whispered.

"Max if you hadn't said those things to me that night, I wouldn't have left. And I wouldn't have gotten in this whole memory-loss/recovery situation! I would have been fine right now! I know I can't blame you for this, but you really have hurt me a lot. I think I need to go home. As to the Walsh house. After that, I need to go tell Agent Simmons what happened. About...this whole termination mess. Can you please just drop me off?" I said with sadness in my voice,

Max sighed "I understand that this is my fault. Even though you don't think you can blame me I blame myself and I don't think I can ever forgive myself either. I'm deeply sorry. I hope we can move on from this one day, but right now it's just too fresh. I'll drop you off, but after that, I will leave you alone until you are ready."

"Ok, thank you" I whispered holding back tears.

I was surprised his response was so calm but it really hurt to see him so sad. To know that my words may have caused the pain he was feeling felt miserable. However, I did my best to hold myself together and not push the topic any further.

Once we arrived at the Walsh house I quickly scrambled inside to see Mary sitting on the couch reading what seemed to be letters.

She looked up and said "Zara? Your home early. But it really is great to see you, darling. I heard you got your memory back. News seems to travel fast around here."

"It really does" I laughed. "Well anyways I have been terminated at Oxford due to my absences and lack of participation for the past couple of weeks. This means that I have to go back to the U.S. I was hoping you could drop me off at Agent Simmons' office so I could discuss this with him."

"Oh, Zara. I'm so sorry. I can't believe that the headmaster is still such a dirtbag. Well, either way, you aren't leaving here. Your best protected from your father here. Until he is caught you are not going anywhere. As for dropping you off to see Agent Simmons, I can do that right now. Let me just clean up this mess. I was just...uh reading some of Dave's old letters to me. They just make me feel like he's still here." As she said this she lifted a letter and pressed it to her chest.

I smiled and walked upstairs to my room. I didn't want to say anything that would ruin the moment or make either one of us cry. Dave was her everything and he was gone forever. Yet I still had Max here with me, but I chose to push him away.

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After some time had passed I walked back downstairs. I had changed into some more comfortable clothing and had spent some time reorganizing my room to get my mind off of things. Mary was also ready and had cleaned up the letters. She was holding the keys to Dave's foreign Tahoe and had her purse in the other hand.

We walked outside and got into the car as the cold breeze swept over us.

The car ride was mostly silent. I observed the sights through the window and the ride to the FBI building reminded me of the first ride to the Walsh house from the airport when I had arrived. Except then a quiet and happy Dave drove, while now a sad, but strong Mary drove. So much had changed in the past couple of months.

As I thought of the changes I witnessed here I thought of the changes that must have occurred back home. I wondered how my father felt. I wondered how Betsy and Jace were doing. I wondered how my old friends had adjusted to college life. These all seemed like questions that would never be answered. Questions about a home that was really never my home.