until february 28 | jaesung

30. The Unusual

Loving, is not painful

To me at least, loving or being loved brings no pain

The actual idea of endearing one person who you want your soul and body to be touched by that one person, it is not hurtful

And so, your wish of that person not being granted doesn't hurt. Not being loved doesn't hurt

Loneliness, is the actual pain

Love does not hurt but is selfish. Loving one other is only for the sake of your own. Because having the accompany of your beloved weakens the natural loneliness within you

To me at least. I loved him, as I fell for him in one season that ends the winter. I loved him so selfishly and so, as I was prepared for such agony...

...there I enjoyed, every second of one thing that I gift him which he can never return

~~~~~

The second month of spring was filled with such white blossoms. Sure it has been two full years since Jaemin saw their sight on the trees. Two years and Jaemin was surprised by remembering such traits of Seoul that he had forgotten.

After two years, as Na Jaemin wears his first middle school uniform, he is shocked to start a school year with such calm mind as he walks in the streets. All shocked but glad that he still knows his ways through this city.

While he walks with a bag on his shoulders that no more feels so heavy or a burden to carry around. He walks with a body that aches less than before.

He is finally back.

After returning from Germany during autumn, Jaemin and his mother took their time to spend a whole season in the town with Jaemin's grandparents. While Jaemin was forced by his grandfather to do so many various jobs and so he was forced to start a healthy daily routine by the force of his grandmother who just couldn't stop cooking such delicious foods for her grandson. Meanwhile his mother was all busy to organize a new life in Seoul as she would even leave the town to go and do the jobs in person. And so in the middle of winter, finally they had a nice new house in Seoul all comfortable for two people and so the lady had already signed up Jaemin in a school nearby the house. Everything was prepared to start a normal life. When March came, Jaemin was told by his mother that it can be a good idea for him to start this new school year a month later. As little boy took his time to study and repeat a few lesson topics for the whole first month of school at house.

Now Jaemin had to start his middle school life a month later than others as a transferred student.

Jaemin took a deep breathe and looked at a school building against his way which its view kept on getting clearer as each time Jaemin would step close.

Not even stepping inside the yard and Jaemin was already having the urge to sigh tiredly. As the other students would walk by his side and look at him with wonder.

Probably everyone are wondering about the identity of this newcomer.

Jaemin took steps inside the yard, with such careless expression he would pass by as he could hear some girls chit chatting with each other. Little boy raised an eyebrow and took a glance at two girls who kept on whispering in each other's ears while staring at Jaemin. With the sudden meet of Jaemin's eyes both covered their mouths in embarrassment as they would run and giggle with such delight. Jaemin sure only watched them running away with his widened eyes.

After being called names such as scarecrow, walking corpse, match man and skeleton by his grandfather for the whole autumn; it was indeed a bit hard for Jaemin to believe that he can still attract some girls around.