until february 28 | jaesung

3. I fear the death

Jisung was standing in front of the street. Night just came, it was snowing again. The boy hid his face into his red scarf. Looking at how the car lights made the snow flakes to shimmer like crystals in the air. His warm breathe was caressing his cold rosey cheeks.

As the boy saw the people entering into the hospital behind him, Jisung remembered what the doctor told him just a few minutes ago.

"I see no specific problem with the digestive system or any allergic reaction. Mostly it's because of the lacking of proper nutrition. Other than the anemia matter that I wrote your needed medicine routine before, all of your certain aches in different parts and various vomitting are just because of sensitiveness. In other words...it's just caused by mental issues son"

"I have no education or experience as a therapist but even I can tell that as a teenager that you are, having such experiences such as overthinking and being sleepless is pretty common. Many kids like you visit me here Jisung. Either way their condition would be caused by family issues, school problems or puberty perhaps. But you need to learn on how to control it. Have a better life style! Not having enough sleep or not sleeping at the right time, not eating much healthy  food and being too cautious and sensitive all the time...you're destroying both your mind and body, dear"

"I don't mean to scare you or anything. But this routine of yours can slowly kill you"

"You don't wanna die, do you?"

Jisung was trying to see people walking at the other side of the road. But the cars passing fastly infront of him was blocking his view. As if each car was hitting someone.

Dying...

Little boy scoffed. He could remember how the doctor was looking at him with worry and pity. How the whole thing turned into a therapy meeting.

"Of course I don't want to"

~~~~~

"Okay! Next question. Which way do you preffer to die? Drowning in water, getting burnt in fire, choking with the gas"

Chenle read the question and the options out loud from his phone.

Mark, Donghyuck and Jisung were sitting on desks and chairs in front of him. It was break time and all the four of them gathered in an abandoned class as usual. Even though Mark and Donghyuck were both seniors they didn't mind to pass their break time with second year Jisung and Chenle at this quiet floor in school building. Not to mention that all the third year students make fun of them.

"Drowning in water! It's dark and quiet it might be more peaceful than fire" Mark said.

Donghyuck sighed. "How the hell is that peaceful sh*t head? Water's gonna fill your lungs and ears you'll be tortured to death!"

"Then what?! Suffer in fire?" Mark said.

"I didn't mean it like that!"

As the couple were fighting Chenle was just watching them meanwhile Jisung just sighed and rested his chin on his hand.

"What kind of a game is this...?" Jisung said tiredly.

Chenle shrugged. "I might just prefer to choke by the gas. What about you Jisungie?"

All the three of them stared at Jisung. Not to mention how much a simple eye contact can make the little boy anxious. He leaned back, staring at everyone with shock.

"Uh...none of them?"

"That ain't fun, choose one" Donghyuck said.

"Choosing the cause of my death is fun?" Jisung asked.