My roommate Luke

Hurt inside

Luke's POV

I stared at her, watching her beautiful self. I gulped as I watched her hair fly in the wind, flowing perfectly. My eyes were full of lust as I stared down at her beautiful pink lips. I bit my own, watching as her lips tug into a smile. Her eyes darted from different angles, looking at different things, different people. I could see the lights reflect in her perfect eyes. I could literally see the lights glow in her eyes. Her amazing green eyes. She was just so beautiful. I just wanted her so badly. I wanted to grab her and kiss her to death. I wanted to take her home and cuddle with her all my life until the day we grow old and die.

I'm defiantly in love with her. Maybe it's the way she smiles when she looks around. Maybe it's the way she blushes when you stare at her with lust in your eyes. Or maybe it's the way she laughs out loud when you pin her down and tickle her. Or maybe it's the way she hides her feelings even though she's dying to let them out. Or maybe it's the way she loves to be around me, she has always loved being with just me.

She'd rather hold my hand out of all of the hands that are out there. She knows that in my hands, she's safe. She knows that I'd never harm her nor hurt her. She's to beautiful to even think about doing something like that. She's just so gentle and so innocent. And the thought of Ashton being hers kills me.

I'm hurt inside. I want Abby. I need her. She belongs to me just as I belong to her. But in another world, I know that she could be my girl. In my world, she is mine. In my world she is my girlfriend. And nothing would tare us apart. In another world, just the two of us. That's all I want. I just want her. I would rather have Abby then have a million dollars. I could live in a tent with Abby and be the happiest guy in the whole world. I just know, that in another world, she would be my girl. But I wished it happened in this world.

Because this is my world, and If I'm living in it I only wanna live for one thing and one thing only and that's for Abby. I wouldn't be me if it weren't for her. She made me love myself. She was the one who sat right next to me, staring at all of the scattered puzzle pieces and she was the one who picked them up slowly, one at a time. Slowly placing them in me, making me become who I am. She fixed me.

She always has and she always will. Only she knows where the puzzle pieces are. And if they all fall down, I wouldn't know how to fix it.

'Tell her you love her Luke, before it's to late.' A voice said in my head.

I glanced over at her, wondering if my words in my head came out of my mouth. 'Tell her.' My mind sung.

'Come on just do it. Or it will all be gone the second you blink.' I blinked a couple times, wondering if the words were audible to her because it was so strange to hear the words so clearly in my head. Come on Luke, you can do this buddy, just.... Ummm.. Just grab her hand and tell her how you feel. Yeah! Do that. Ok that's good, now just grab her hand. I licked my lips as I started to reach for her soft hand. This was it, im gonna tell her I love her.

"Abby-" before I could finish or even grab her hand, I saw Abby squeal. My eyebrows raised as I looked at her. She ran over to a crowd of people before I realized she was running towards Ashton. I was wondering why she was so dang happy, but then I looked carefully and I saw a large teddy bear in his hands. It was bigger then the one I won her, and it was tie dyed. The colors were white, blue, green, and purple. My jaw dropped, watching as she jumped in his arms and he laughed as he spun her around.

"Look what I won you baby!" Ashton yelled happily as he set her down, showing her the big teddy bear. I just stood there in my dead tracts, my mouth still open. I was shocked and hurt. I felt like I was an outcast. Like I was in a movie, watching the one I love love someone else. Watching the one I love smile in that persons arms. That should be me.

Their voices were audible but it seemed like they were so far away. Like they were miles away from me. But I could hear them clearly.

"You won me this?!" Abby asked in disbelief. "Yes!" Ashton giggled. "Aww Ashton thank you!" She squealed before kissing his cheek and hugging the teddy bear, with mine secured around her left arm. "What's this?" Ashton smiled as he grabbed the head of the bear I won her. "Oh Luke won me that." She giggled as she looked down at it.

"Oh well mines better, you don't need that." Ashton said before pulling it out of her arms and dropping it on the dirt. I could literally feel my heart break. I was broken. Abby was so busy focusing on the large teddy bear that she didn't realize Ashton dropped the one i won her. Ashton smiled at Abby before wrapping his arm around her waist and he turned around and walked away as she leaned her head on his shoulder. Calum and Michael laughed as they teased the both of them before following them.

They just left me here, like I wasn't even there. My mouth was still opened, watching as they fade into the crowd. She didn't even look back. She didn't even see if I was ok or right behind her. I felt tears stream down my face as I watched the one I love walk away. It hurt so much. But why?! I heard a sob escape my lips as my heart was breaking loudly. I forced myself to walk towards the lonely teddy bear, knowing how it felt. I whimpered as I picked it up, brushing off the dirt before hugging it.

I needed to get out of here. What if Abby sees me. I cried as I looked from left to right, not caring if people saw me right now. I turned around, slowly walking away at first. I couldn't believe what just happened, it just hurt, it hurt to much. So much.

"Luke!" I heard in the distance. I sobbed as I hugged the teddy bear as tight as I could. "Luke!" I heard Abby yell from behind. Oh no, she can't see me. I'm a... I'm a mess!! I'm crying! She can't see me, she won't leave me alone till I tell her the truth. Crap. "Luke!" I heard her yell again. Not her voice. Why her voice. Her voice makes me cry even harder and makes me want her even more. My heart aches for her.

"Luke!" She yelled. I quickly turned around, staring at her from a distance with puffy red eyes. I sniffled as our eyes locked. Her smile turned into a frown instantly. She had a questioning look on her face. She saw me hurt, she saw me broken. "Luke?" She whispered, even though I couldn't hear it, I saw her lips speak my name. Which hurt like hell.

I shook my head before hugging the teddy bear tighter and I turned around and I ran. "LUKE!" Abby yelled out loud as I was now the one leaving her. I had to get out of here. I hated this place. I hated feeling abandoned. I hated not feeling loved. I felt endless tears come out of my eyes as I was now out of the fair. I saw lots of cars pass by, hoping a taxi would drive by.

"LUKE!" I heard an echo in the distance. I turned around quickly with a gasp, hoping she wasn't following me. I turned back around and I ran towards a taxi car the second I spot one. "TAXI!" I yelled in a cracked voice. The taxi stopped and I immediately got in the car and told him to drive.

I didn't care where I was going, as long as it was away from them. Away from everything. "Here's fine." I said after I spot our neighborhood. He nodded and I got out after handing him money. I closed the door before walking away, shoving one hand in my pocket while the other hugged the teddy bear for dear life.

How could they do that, just walk away like I wasn't even there. Maybe they're better off without me. No one knows my past, no one except for Abby. Only she knows my past. And I'm just so scared to know that if I can't keep my thoughts together, I just might go down that path that I was dying to get out of. It wasn't a dark path, it was a depression path. It was the place were my feelings were eating me alive. And my feelings never dared to escape. They were locked in me. And all the horrible memories came back of the past. The memories of the old me.