My roommate Luke

The old Luke

Luke's POV

I began to sob roughly as I hugged the teddy bear with both arms and hands. I burried my face into the fur, knowing I'm probably gonna soak it with my tears. I sobbed out loud as I let it all out. My chest ached so badly. I hated this, I hated crying. It weakened me. It hurt me. If destroyed me. I remember crying in Abby's arms, begging her to never give up on me. I was a reck. I use to be a complete mess. And I still am, look at me. I'm pathetic. I'm freaking 20 years old and I'm crying. I guess you cry when your really hurt.

I sobbed as I continued to walk to our house, hugging the teddy bear like I use to hug Abby. I missed her so much but she broke me. They all did. They just left me like everyone else in this world. Abby should have known not to do that simple mistake. Because turning your back on me is honestly the worst feeling ever. Or forgetting about me. It just hurts so damn bad. I've experienced it way to many times and I was tired of it.

I cried as I fumbled with the doorknob, trying to get it open. I cursed out loud as I couldn't open it since my hand was so weak and shaky. I pounded on the door while screaming before calming myself down just enough to open the door correctly. I opened the door and I locked it immediately, sliding down on the cold door as I hugged the teddy bear. I sobbed loudly as I sat on the ground, letting all my thoughts eat my brain.

My chest hurt from crying so hard but I didn't care. I liked it. I could literally feel myself fight against itself. The old me was trying to pin the new me down. The old me was a depressed boy who use to cut. Yes, I use to cut myself. I had such a horrible past. That's why I love Abby so much and I don't wanna loose her. She knows everything about me and she has only helped me.

I screamed out loud as I kicked my feet, remembering my past. I shut my eyes tight as I screamed louder with my full strength. I started to remember everything. I remembered the pain of the sharp knife greeting my wrists. I remember roughly scraping it across my arms. I remember my dad. My horrible dad. He would beat me and my mother up constantly. He use to kick me hard and tell me how worthless I was. I sobbed as I closed my ears with the palms of my hands and I screamed louder. "STOP!" I yelled as the voices filled in me head.

"Your pathetic."

"No one will ever love you."

"Silly Luke, you think Abby actually loves you? She knows your past, and she's AFRAID OF IT!"

"SSTTOOOOP!" I screamed, my voice trailing down the empty halls.

"She doesn't love you! Your worthless and broken! You will never be fixed!"

"Your a worthless piece of trash!"

"You no good son of a B****!"

My fathers words filled inside my head as I pressed my hands hard against my ears. "PLEASE STOP!" I sobbed as I tried to block them out but it was impossible.

The memories flashed in my head. The memories of my bullies beating me up constantly. They laughed at me for cutting myself. The thoughts made me cringe and wince, somehow feeling the pain again. I hated my life, it was horrible. But a light clicked in my head, it was the day I first met Abby.

Flashback:

"Hey worthless mutt!" Jason yelled as he pushed me against the lockers. I groaned as I felt a metal bar hit my spine. "How many cuts are on your arm today huh Luke? Did you forget to count them? Aww how sad." He said as he looked down at me with those evil blue eyes. My eyes widened with fear as I felt tears form in them. "Aww you crying again? Your so weak and pathetic! But I'm sure your father reminds you of that!" Jason laughed in my face.