My roommate Luke

First kiss

Abby's POV

I looked down at the concrete ground after I just hopped out of Calum's car. I sighed as I looked at the little rocks, that I'm sure people have kicked, lay on the road. Calum's car made a hum noise as it drove off, causing the rocks to roll away as he ran over them. That's how my heart feels right now. Hurt. It feels like it's been ran over.

I just broke up with Ashton, and I feel like it meant nothing to me. Or him. I was his girl because he felt pity for me. He didn't want to break up with me because he said it would hurt me. He just used me for Luke. My heart was torn by Ashton's hand and shoved back in as if he never cared.

I cared. But the real question was, did I really? I never viewed Ashton as my boyfriend, I viewed him more as a friend. I viewed Luke as a boyfriend. He's treated me like I was his from the first day we became great friends. I don't know why I did this to him. How could Luke ever forgive me?

I basically stole his heart and dropped it from my hands the minute Ashton showed interest in me. I was so starry eyed over Ashton that I didn't care if anyone else liked me. I left Luke within a heart beat for Ashton. And here I am, left to be hurt.

It's literally ripping me alive, taunting me with the things that I've done to Luke. All Luke's ever done to me is love me and protect me and I didn't want that. I didn't want his protection because I was to stubborn. And I didn't want his love because I could feed off of Ashton's.

And now look at me. I already dumped Ashton after I realized I was in love with Luke. Could it be to late? Would it be wrong? God I hate myself. Why did I do this to Luke. He doesn't deserve me. Not at all.

I took advantage of Luke's love just like Ashton took advantage of mine. I'm just glad I didn't allow it to go to far between us, or else I would have been a mess. Maybe Luke can forgive me. If only it's what he wants.

I took in a deep breath before I raised my head up and I stared at our cream colored house. I felt a tear form in my right eye and before it could fall, I wiped it away quickly. I sniffled before I forced myself to walk forward. I heard to small rocks crush underneath my shoes as I waltzed over to our porch. I walked up the small steps before I reached for the knob. I gasped as I froze in place.

Is this even a good idea? Should I go in there? What will Luke think? Will he be mad? Sad? Furious? Upset? An emotional wreck? I have no idea.

"He deserves my love." I whispered under my breath. That's all Luke has ever wanted. Was me. And I'm now wiling to be his. Why? Because I love him. But I just don't know why I don't want to be his right now. It just won't feel right. Dating one guy and then date the next instantly. It won't look good. Nor feel good.

I blinked a couple times before opening the door. I looked around the room with wide eyes before I breathed out and closed the door. "Luke?" I said just above a whisper. "Luke, I'm, I'm ho-"

"Abby." Luke breathed as he walked over a bunch of broken pieces of plates. My eyes met his instantly as I gulped. Wow this place is a mess. There was curtains ripped, sprawled all over the couches. The plates we owned were shattered all over the wooden floor. Some picture frames were knocked over, along with drops of blood stains. Probably from his hands.

"Wha- what happened?" I asked out of breath. My eyes met his gaze again as I breathed heavily.

"Is he better then me?" Luke asked, totally ignoring me. "What?" I asked.

"Ashton, is he better then me? Is that why you left?" Luke said.

His eyes were blood shot. His skin was pale and he looked like he hasn't ate for 2 days. His black plain T-shirt had a few holes near his collar bone and his grey sweatpants were hanging loose on his hips. The beanie that laid on his head looked like it had been rubbed so many times that it made it look wrinkly.