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2010.
Areum's mind continued to wander off to her conversation with her mother as the dim lights of her house lit up the strings of numbers and equations she was meant to solve. Her pen spun in her fingers as she continued to contemplate whether asking her mother would benefit her in any way.
I'm so stupid, she thought to herself slamming her forehead on the papers of homework she had to complete for school, as she let out a shaky breath, she's never said yes before, so why now, why did I ask?
Areum remembered the times when she was younger constantly asking for her parent's love and compassion about her work but as the number of years grew, the more she realised how hopeless it was, how her passion is belittled with them, how their dreams have become forced on her.
Deciding to continue with her work, her pen wrote a trail of mindless numbers and symbols of the constraining concept of maths. She wondered whether trigonometry would benefit her in any way possible in the future. She wondered whether this restricting form of education would be of any use but as her father said, "education is the key to success and success brings happiness," but was it? Did it guarantee happiness?
Her mind was interrupted by the sound of her stomach. Realising the time, she got herself up and boiled some water while retrieving a packet of ramen. But once again her process of steps was interrupted by the sound of an opening door. Areum looked towards the sound, seeing her mother, her stomach instantly filled with butterflies. Her mother walked to where Areum was as her daughter tried to appear busy while trying to contain her intruding thoughts.
"I thought about what you asked for," her mother said looking at Areum, "and I can't keep fueling your passion for music."
"Bu-"
"This passion of your's, it's just a faze."
Areum felt her heart drop, "it's not a faze, I have enjoyed music for so many years."
"You'll get over it," her mother contradicted, "anyways, you need to focus on your future, being a musician doesn't get you money, we don't want you to end up being like us, dear."
"I understand but if I can become successful it will benefit our family so much and I would actually enjoy it," Areum explained to her mother, "I wouldn't enjoy being a doctor or a lawyer or anything like that. If I was a doctor I would probably kill that person."
"Areum, a successful life doesn't always involve enjoyment," her mother explained to her daughter. Areum felt her tears slightly well up in her eyes.
"Your father and I have been thinking about something, we are selling your keyboard,"
"WHAT?!" Areum yelled. She faced her mother abruptly, stopping what she was doing, shocked, "you can't do that!"
"We can and we will!" Her mother yelled now standing up looking down on her daughter, "So I suggest you calm your tongue and listen to your parents!"
Her mother's tone and yelling made her feel like a small child. Her yelling only increased her anxiety, the more she yelled the more she felt degraded, belittled, not important in her families eyes.
"Now go to your room and finish your homework."
Areum hastily grabbed her ramen and collected her homework, not wanting to be in the presence of her mother. She felt her tears brim her eyes, as she lifted her head slightly to not let her tears fall her. Reaching her small room, Areum quietly shut the door not wanting to anger her mother further. She shut her eyes feeling the warm droplets fall. Feeling her legs crumble beneath her, she sat down, burning her face in her chest. She felt herself lightly hiccup as she cried in complete silence, all alone, with no one to help her.
Never before, had she felt so defeated.
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