Dream: ̗̀➛ BTS 8

𝘊𝘏. 17

2010.

A few months have gone by declaring that Areum had been there for more than half a year. Areum had so far done mediocre in her monthly evaluations, her relationship with Yoongi grew as he told her that if he ever saw her studying in the practice room again he would tell Eun-Byeol who he realised was protective over the younger. Lately, she had been practising everyday none stop and she had been seeing drastic improvement. Eun-Byeol said that her vocals have become more stable and her vocal range was developing and with the help of Eun-Byeol he dancing skills have dramatically improved. Her literal blood, sweat and tears would all rely on a coming day. If she succeeded she could join a debuting group. And if she didn't she would go back to the unknowing life of a trainee never knowing when they'd debut.

"Eun-Byeol Unnie" Areum called from her bed. Eun-Byeolwho was on the other side of the small room, getting ready to go to bed replied, "yeah?"

"If I don't debut," Areum said quietly with an undertone of worriedness and sadness, "thank you for helping me."

From the beginning, Eun-Byeol helped Areum through everything, whether it was dancing, singing or even just giving her confidence. Eun-Byeol was there. Areum didn't want to disappoint her by not making it. She didn't want Eun-Byeols hard work of teaching go done the drain.

"Don't think like that," Eun-Byeol declared, "If you don't make it and I do, I will yell and force the manager to put you in."

Areum giggled. Eun-Byeol wasn't going to change despite such an important evaluation coming up, she was still loud, positivity filled her. WIth that, Eun-Byeol forced Areum to bed threatening that she would knock her out if Areum refused.

But she couldn't sleep. She laid there anxiously, not wanting the next day to yet yet she wants to be able to sleep and not worry.

***

1st person

All their eyes were on me. No one else but me. Critically judging my every move, facial expression, my hard work. At least when we practised I was with friends, but now I was alone. I feel myself almost paralyze by my overthinking. What if I didn't practice well enough? Could I have practised more? Would I disappoint those who have helped me, and spent their time to help me? Would I fail?

My brain isn't as brave as I want it to be, for in this room there are so many others and there's this little voice in my head saying I'm not good enough to be here. I wonder if they can see the real me, the child who wants to be with those who love me the way family do, to be in front of a crowd of friends rather than in a crowd of judges she barely knew. Perhaps we're all the same, just some of us show it a bit more. They say it's just social anxiety, but there are days it feels like a pain I can't conquer.

"Okay let's start."

An older man's voice said snapping her out of her overthinking state. I prepared both a vocal and dance performance and submitted one of my lyrics.

"You did well, your dancing has definitely improved and your vocals are amazing for someone your age and your lyric skills are amazing, I just think you're too young for this group."

"I agree, you are still really young so you still have time to develop your style and to find the perfect group for you but I think you should work on now differentiating yourself from other girls. Since you have time, you can find different ways to differentiate yourself from everyone else."

Sure this wasn't the reaction she hoped for, but Areum was glad about her improvement and advice and will take into account all the feedback given. It wasn't a complete fail despite the hard work which was at least recognised.

I guess this is the reality.

She now waited outside the practice room, waiting to see if Eun-Byeol made it but as she waited, Eun-Byeolsoon went out too and immediately hugged the girl.

"I didn't make it," Eun-Byeol cried as her voice broke, "5 years, I have been training for 5 years."

Areum hugged her shocked. She thought that she would make it. There was no doubt in her mind. Eun-Byeo had the talent, the looks, and a genuine personality. So why? Why didn't she make it? Areum's heart broke at the sight of the broken girl. How many times had she gone through this rejection to break down like this? She had never seen Eun-Byeol cry or display such heartbreak.

I guess this is the reality.

"I'm sorry, you ended up spending your time helping me when you could have been practising yourself."

Eun-Byeol shook her head, hugging the girl tighter, "it wasn't your fault, I heard you did well, I just didn't perform well enough, sorry I'm going to go."

Areum watched as Eun-byeol walked away. She didn't follow her. She didn't know what to do? What to say for she felt it was her fault. Eun-Byeol spent her time helping Areum while she could have been practising herself, Areum had never felt so guilty. So terrible. The heaviness in her chest grew as she continued to think.

Even if Eun-Byeol didn't admit that helping her was a setback, deep down inside she knew that Eun-Byeol thought that. That she was a setback. Eun-Byeol's setback. The anchor that held Eun-Byeol down as she tried to rise. How could she ever consider herself a good friend when she cause this? How could she ever forgive herself?

She and Yoongi sat in the studio together. Areum had been playing short melodies for inspiration as Yoongi worked on a project. Both of their relationships grew, they didn't talk a whole lot but when they did it was never an uncomfortable conversation. Both of them had anxiety which each other didn't know about, despite this they were both able to connect with their passion for music and lack of support from their parents. They both understood where their parents were coming from but it still hurt.

On some days, Areum would just enter Yoongi's studio and just listen to him produce because she didn't feel obliged to talk. With the other girls back at the dorm, she felt as if she needed to talk and hold the conversation she was lucky that Eun-Byeol was able to read the situation and talk for her.

Looking at the time, Areum for up from the keyboard, packing up saying, "I should probably go now, thank you for letting me stay."

Yoongi hummed in response before quickly saying, still looking at his monitor, "if you ever need anything you can come to me."

I'm about to go on a trip somewhere for 2 weeks so I'll see if I'll get internet there to update. So sorry for the lack of updates if there is no internet but hopefully on the plane trip I'll be able to write more.

Thank you to those who are voting and commenting or even just being reading my story. It means a lot to me. Thank you :)))

<3