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2010.
All I felt was heavy. My eyelids, heavy. My head, heavy. My head, heavy. But the familiar feeling of insomnia that I have experienced countless times consumed me. The, what felt was meant to be a rejuvenating time felt eternal. I was constantly tossing and turning, tossing and turning, tossing and turning to no avail as my mind constantly met the events of dinner.
The deafening silence that filled the room after she ranted caused the pit of anxiety to build in her stomach but what happened after will forever scar her.
Areum stood there, standing her ground, waiting for her parents to say something but instead she suddenly, unexpectedly felt a strong, string against her. Her eyes widened, processing what happened. Her mother stood Infront of her, towering over Areum with her hand opened, quivering slightly.
"You will respect us!" Her mother yelled causing Areum to jerk back slightly, flinching at the sudden loud noise, "go to your room."
And that's what she did. She moved like a pawn being controlled in the chess game.
I closed my eyes, wrapping the blanket more around her letting my warm tears trickle down my face as I cried in silence.
***
Deciding that I should get out of bed, I pushed the warm blankets placing my feet on the cold, wooden, planked flooring walking to the small living room, kitchen area. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a piece of paper that was on the table with small writing on it. Grabbing the paper, my eyes read the words as my brain processed the sudden information.
Dear Areum,
We are sorry we can't be at home to tell you this, but after some careful consideration, we have decided to allow you to go. We understand we haven't been perfect parents and this letter won't mean anything to you, but we have given you some money and a credit card to use responsibly and instead of using your savings. We have also given you a phone with our phone numbers, please inform us of your audition and we wish you luck.
Love, your parents.
It was small, yes. Just formal words written on scrap paper but it meant so much to me. It was a step. A small step but it was one step closer to not only achieving my dreams but to becoming closer to my parents.
***
I sat on the train ready to head to the city of Seoul, watching as the building and trees passed us by in a flash with my bag of clothing next to me just in case I had to stay extra days. Nervousness and excitement filled the air around me as we travelled for 3 hours. As we entered the city of Seoul, large skyscrapers towered over the crowd of people who walked through the street. As the train stopped, I walked out with numerous others, ceiling the station. I read the business card of BigHit looking for the address of the auditions, typing it into my phone for directions.
Walking through the streets of Seoul, I couldn't help but notice the crowd of people that walked through the streets and how the buildings were much larger than the ones of Daegu. Each person in the crowd had their own goal to achieve for the day. Whether it was to converse with others under their own free will or to purchase items of choice. It was so unfamiliar compared to the streets that were filled with poverty in Daegu.
I continued to walk until I reached the destination of the audition. The building looked quite old, the bricks were a light beige colour that had been stained with dirt and debris, the windows were slightly cloudy and dark, not what I expected but what did I expect anyway. I let out a shaky breath, gripping the doorknob, ready to audition.
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