Caged Wings

CHAPTER 26

In the morning. . .

Philza had to drag his hurting son away from King Dream’s body, his eyes still fixed on the males glassy eyes as he screamed for his father to stop. It hurt, hearing the pain in his son's voice as he begged. It hurt seeing his son in such pain, so much guilt filling his eyes. But now, getting out of bed, he had to force himself to see his broken boy, just to make sure he was ok. So, he made his way to the boy’s temporary room as they healed from the battle. At the fall of their king, the enemies had come with them, not in chains though, Tommy made it very clear they were not to be treated as criminals. So, they walk freely around  the town, though Philza won't deny they have been keeping a close eye on the Dreamer soldiers. 

They also grabbed the Apollo crystal, determined to separate them to keep something from this happening again. They decided to keep it in the Antarctic kingdom, since  Philza was an avian and could sense when the crystal left the castle walls. Walking down the hall, he stopped, seeing Grian standing next to Tommy’s door. The two avians met eye contact, both silent until the hermit smiled. Philza walked closer, himself smiling slightly. “Grian? What are you doing here?” It was silent after that, Grian’s smile faltering slightly. 

“Remember, when you asked how I was still alive?” Silence. “I’m a god, and I’ve lived this long because of this.” Philza’s eyes widened slightly. “I used to hate that fact, Phil.” He looked up, brown eyes sparkling. “But, now that the demon is dead, maybe I can rejoin the other gods in their ranks once again.” Philza smiled at the thought, gray eyes fluffing up in happiness. 

“I’m happy you accepted that part of you, Grian.” The god smiled back. 

“Thank you, Phil.” With that, the male pushed himself off of the door  frame and made his way past the other, towards the stairs. The blond smiled slightly, taking a deep breath as he grabbed the door handle and forced the wooden plank to move. Walking in, he noticed right away the bed had been made. He would have thought his son had gone down stairs, if his eyes hadn’t met the piece of paper sitting upon the sheets. Slowly, he made his way over, gently grabbing the piece of paper and opening it. 

Dear, whoever finds this

I can’t stay. I know you guys want me to, but I can’t. I can’t face those who I have hurt, guilt fills me every time my eyes meet Tubbo’s, it hurts when I meet eyes with the innocent people I had killed. I’m sorry that I can’t stay and live with you, dad. But, I also know I’d feel horrible every time I looked at you. I’m guilty of what I did whether it was with a clear conscience or not. 

I’m leaving, running- whatever you want to call it. I’m going to leave somewhere no one knows my name, or my face. I Know it might seem selfish, but I can’t force myself to be somewhere I only feel sadness in. Maybe, we’ll meet again, when I come to terms with what I did. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll let the guilt leave me, and come home. Again, I’m sorry. 

- Tommy

Philza chuckled lightly, whipping away his few tears as he read the note. He had hoped this would work out better, with him returning home with all three of his boys. But, part of him always thought of the possibility that that wouldn’t happen, but not like this. “Oh, Tommy.” He quietly whispers, eyes  still looking at the note. “Please, return home soon.”