Fantasy

Helena Bonham Carter (Drama In Life XI)

Helena's POV

3 days has passed and (Y/n) have gotten much better than a few days ago, she has gotten her appetite back, been drinking her medicines and all, but there was something else wrong with her

She seems a little distant, every time I'd get close to her she'd back off or tense up a bit like she was putting a wall of something and I don't know why

When I'd ask her what's wrong she'd say it's nothing and that she's fine when in fact I know she's not because not only does her body language says it, but every time she lies she'd bite her lip while her eyes averts eye contact and that's exactly what she's doing to me

"Here you go" I gave her a plate with pancakes and she replied with a soft and low thank you and still not bothering to make eye contact with me

Okay, I've had enough of this

"(Y/n), I want you to tell me what's wrong" I said with a slight firm tone, but not enough to scare her, she took a very quick glance at me, then it was back to her food 

"Like I said before nothing is wrong" she tone was very soft, you could barely hear her 

"No, I'm not taking this bullshit anymore. You haven't been the same since the day we were in the lake. You're not the same cheery and kind (Y/n) I know" I admitted and she seem to tense at it, I kept my tone in a civild manner "Please (Y/n), I need you to talk to me" I pleaded 

She wasn't showing any signs of anger or annoyance, more like she was hesitant about what she's gonna say, her lips quivered as it was slightly gapped open, eyes flickering and a lost of words, she kept doing this thing like she's about to say something, but she withdraws from herself 

I want to be patient with her, but it's getting frustrating seeing her like this, so I tried convincing her more "Please, sweetheart" tenderly taking her hand into mine, then she finally looked at me and she stared in my eyes for a good 5 seconds or so, before getting up and walking away 

Of course, I followed her, wanting to know what the hell is happening right now, then she stopped in the middle of the living room with her down low and her hands clenching on her long white gown, a cardigan covering her upper part

Then she mumbled something that I didn't hear, so I asked whether she could repeat it again "I'm...broken..."

"Broken? Honey, you're n-"

"Yes, I am!" she interrupted and swiftly turns around to face me with her face filled with fury and pain "So...you can't..."

"What are you saying? I can't what?" at this point, I really have no idea what the hell she's saying, then what comes next shocked me

"I know you like me, Helena. Romantically and I can't let you like me like that"

"Why?"

"Because I am broken...People are just like glass cups. We start off as whole, we let other people love us and we do the same to them, but when they hurt us...we crack, that crack grows and the more we get hurt the more we crack till we chip off a small piece, then to a bigger piece..."

Her eyes landed on mine again and all I could see was pain "And the more pieces we chip off...the more we lose ourselves and the lesser love we receive...I am one of those broken glass cups..." she drops her gaze and shakes her head 

"I...I can't let you like and love me when I am...broken..."

She brought up her head and looked deeply into my eyes, holding back her tears, trying hard not to blinks or else, her tears will fall and might breakdown sobbing. I slowly approached her while my hands reaches for her face 

"What is broken can be fixed, my love" 

Her expression changes from despair to hope. A glimmer of hope showed on her face, she wasn't smiling, but even so, she didn't had to cause I knew she was feeling it, then expression changes again 

"But nobody would want a cracked up glass cup..."

I frowned, my breath hitches and my heart ached as (Y/n) moves away from my grip. This girl has been through so many painful things that even convincing her she could be loved once again seems...impossible for her

"You can leave now. I'm not sick anymore..." she said with a low tone of voice while her back was facing as she slowly walks away from me

"NO! I will not leave! Sick or not, I will never leave you!" I snapped, eventually also crying "I will choose you! It doesn't matter if you're a cracked up or broken glass cup or whatever you are-I will choose you! I am choosing you!"

She gradually turns around and walks in front of me, I was thinking that I have finally convinced her that she could be loved again "Helena..." then the sound of her voice says otherwise

"A wise person once said: you can not be with someone who is incomplete. They can not give what they don't have. They have to be selfish in order to be selfless"

Her words struck me like someone has stabbed me right through my heart. I want to refuse and not accept what she is saying, but she's right "I know it hurts to accept it, but I'm doing the both of us a favour. You have to let me go"

"But what if I don't want to let you go?" I cried, then she placed her forehead to mine 

"You have to. I know that I am vulnerable, sad and in pain, probably needing someone right now and I do, but only in a sense of accompany and not in a sense of relationship. I don't want to choose you because it's a necessity. I want to choose you because I want to"

"(Y/n)...I...I love you..." I whispered and I saw her crack up a small smile

"I know...I've known for quite some time now. But that doesn't change anything..." that was it, my words were no use against hers. Her words were more wise and true than mine

So, I really have to let her, huh?   

I inhaled, sniffed because my nose was blocked and closed my eyes, then tears began falling down my cheeks like a river "Oh, Helena, I'm so sorry, but please, do not cry. I now it hurts right now, but know for a fact that someone out there is waiting for you and can not wait to be with you. Your soulmate"

"And what if that soulmate is you?" I queried and she laughed 

"Oh my sweet Helena, I do not know if I'm really your soulmate or not. Nobody knows who's anyone's soulmate. Only destiny can and since neither of us is destiny, then we have no way of knowing. Maybe in the future, but right now...you have to let me go" 

(Y/n) then removes her forehead from mine and just in front of me with a sincere small smile. It's sad knowing that I can't have her, but one can only hope. I began making my way to her front door while she just stands still on the same spot 

Upon on opening the door, I looked back at her and I can see that her smile had faded away. However, she wasn't looking at me blankly, she looked sincere and genuine "Good-...See you" I didn't want to say goodbye because I know we might see each other once more in the future

"See you too"

I closed the door and when I was walking to the elevator I started crying again, I pressed the elevator button and thankfully no one was in it, so I just cried in there 

I love her.

I loved her.

Let her go.

You have to.

Someday, in the near future, someone is waiting for you...and that might be your soulmate

・・・✧ The End ✧・・・