Accident

Chapter 33

"Don't fight", Channie oppa says and they all shut up. "Sorry", Lix pouts at me and I smile.

"Its okay", they continue there v live and I listen to them. My mind spaces away again and I suddenly flinch.

I see our school secretary "The doctor tried to safe them, but it was too late. They couldn't make it", she tells me and Silas.

My breathing get uneven again. "You need to lose weight. You are to fat", my mind plays with me.

I hear the lady say, that made me run for hours. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten that much. I start to overthink again.

My eyes look into the camera and I smile, like we learned.

"Oh, why Sisi is with us?", Hyunjin asks. "Because she's nice, sweet and like a sister to us all. She had to go through a lot and we are happy that she debuted today", I hear Channie oppa say.

My glance moves around until I find Lix's eyes.

He looks at me and puts an arm over me. He leans his head near me.

"Hold on. You can do this. I know its almost midnight", he says and leans his head on my shoulder.

I grab his hand anxious and he smiles at me sadly. "Lix please", my voice is creaking slightly.

Jeongin notices and pulls my hoodie up again. "I think we are all tired. Its almost midnight. Stays should go to sleep to", he says and they all nod.

"Your right. Stays sleep tight", Seungmin says and Minho ends the v live.

I don't lift my face up and stare at the ground. Trying my best to not break out in tears.

Its almost twelve a clock what means its almost the day my parent and my sister died. It happens every time.

I always cant sleep for the days around this date. I wake up with horrible nightmares and feel so anxious.

"Lets go to sleep everyone", Changbin says and I hear how the most of them start to get up.

Hyunjin squeeze my hand softly and stands up. "Lets also go to sleep", I hear Lix say softly and he pulls me up.

He picks me up bridely style and brings us to his shared room. He puts me onto the bed and pulls a new hoodie out for me.

Its a black one again and he helps me to get changed. I know he will see my bra and so on, but honestly I don't care at the moment.

He puts me into bed and cuddles with me. I lay my head on his chest. "I want to visit them", my voice is really silent, but Lix hears it.

"We will go okay? Tomorrow. Lets sleep for today and we can visit them", he softly strokes my hair and I slowly start to doze off.

I snatch my eyes, for the third time this nite. Its always the same dream. I pant heavy and look at the time.

Lix is still asleep, but its actually already five am, so I get up and walk to his closet. He surly wouldn't mind if I take something out.

I find a white hoodie and take it. I walk into the bathroom and start to shower.

I put the hoodie on and its really big. It reaches almost to my knees. I mean im sure it is also to big for Lix.

I decide to wear it as a dress and put on some make up, that I found in my back.

My face looks kinda puffy from crying and sobbing.

My body feels so weak and I literally only want to sleep, but I won't be able so I decide to buy groceries to cook some breakfast for the boys.

I out on my shoes and the mask Channie oppa gave me.

I come back and put some groceries into the fridge. I start to chop some vegetables. Because I decided to make a noodle soup for the Asia east and egg, bacon, bread and pancakes for the I don't know Australian vibe?

I mean I used to eat this when I was young and today is a day I really missed this food.

I put the vegetables into a large pot with water and add chicken stew. I let it cook and start to prepare the pancake.

Sine my eomma always told me things from scratch last better than already finished mixed things I always make it from scratch.

I let the mixture chill for a bit and take the loaf of bread out. I dont have the time to make it so I bought it. I cut it into slights and drip some olive oil and salt on it. I put it into the pre heated oven and let it back on low heat. So it will get crispy.

I start to cut some more vegetables and fruits to just eat. And start to make the pancakes.

Its seven thirty and I finished cooking. I start to put some plates on the table and glasses. I hear how some members woke up and are in the bathroom. I walk back into the kitchen and take some things and put them onto the table.

"Hey, how can I help you", Seungmin stands next to me and I hand him some food. "would you take this and wake the rest of the members up?", he nods and I bring the rest to the table.

We finished, when suddenly Channie Oppa phone starts to ring. He takes it and put it next to his ear "Hello?"