Accident

chapter 58

He pulls me into a hug and lays his head on my shoulder. I am kind of confused, what he's doing, but enjoy the hug.

It feels really good, to be in his arms. I know its strange, since he did hurt me so many times in the past. But I feel safe.

I close my eyes and its like he is my savior.

I forget about those horrible days in America and the nights I cried to sleep there. Where I overthought everything and become emotional.

My body feels relived from the stress and the pain I have gone through.

"I know I told you I will wait and give you time. And I will. I will always wait for you. But I just miss you so much.

I know it is kind of inappropriate to say this, but I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to spend all up and downs with you. Hold you tight, no matter what happens and love you either way.

I know I made a lot of mistakes in my past and I hurt you so much. I know you will never forgive me that and I won't neither.

But I am selfish. I still want you, all of you. Its okay if you don't want me, or don't want to be in a romantic relationship with me. I just wanted to tell you that I will always stand by your side. As a best friend, as a sunaenim, as a childhood friend and as a lover.

I left you alone to chase after my dreams and that was selfish.

I left you alone and no one protected you of those horrible things. Then you came and found me. I was so happy to see you, and I promised to stay by your side.

But once again I left you. Because of my dream.

Because of my job and mostly because I was selfish.

Still you forgave me one more time. I promised you to stay by your side and you believed it.

This time I truly didn't leave you. I stayed, but not in a good way.

I am so embarrassed and ashamed about the things I told you.

I am sure your parents won't see me as there lost fourth child again.

I hurt you so much because of my dream. And the stress of pressuring my dreams.

But in the time you left me I learned a lot.

In this seven months I found out what I really want. And who I want to be.

And none of my dreams are going to come in my way.

You know why?

Because you are my fate. My future and my now.

I noticed that everything I do. The air I breath to live its always because of you.

I think about you without even noticing.

As a foreign trainee for Jyp entertainment it is hard. Its even harder, when your Korean is bad. But you know.

You always gave me faith.

I left you to fulfill my dreams and didnt notice my dreams to become an idol was always because I wanted to make you proud.

Remember when we were kids and sang together, while jumping up and down on the bed?

That was the time, I saw your eyes shine with so much admiration and love.

You told me I am the star and should be on stage and sing. You said it would make you really proud and at that moment I wanted to become an idol.

So I became and idol, but there was always a part missing in my life.

When you came to Jyp entertainment and I saw you. I knew what was missing.

My heart,

my heart was missing. Because I gave it to you.

You are the missing piece of my life and I can chose any piece I like to fill your place, but it will never fit.

There is no one like you and there won't be anyone so perfectly imperfect as you.

So I tell you here and now.

I only want you and I will wait for you. Even if it takes ages to be with you, I will wait. Because I love you.

I love you is not even strong enough to describe any of my emotions I feel for you, but its the most I can say to you in words.

So I am telling you I love you and only you.

Will you give me one last chance? I will make sure to be your forever last love", he kneels down on one knee and pulls a little box out.

"In the letter your mom gave me there was money yes. But I don't care about it. Because there was a letter for me and this", he tells me and opens the little box.

There is a little Dimond ring.

"Your parents told me to give this to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

So here I am. On my knees and asking you to spend the rest of your life with me. I know its to early to ask, but I am hundred precent sure I want to only spend my life with you.

And I will even wait after I proposed to you", he says and looks at me.

Some tears are rolling down of my face, but they are happy tears.

"So what do you say?", he asks me and his voice sounds nervous and shaky.

I nod smiling and he puts the ring on my finger. He gets up and pulls me in for an other hug.

"Lix...", I say and my voice is a little shaky.

"Yes?", he asks me and looks into my eyes.

"Can i kiss you?" I ask him and he lays his head down.

Our lips touch and it is like a firework of emotions.